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Monthly Archives: April 2008
Blogging About Blogging About Blogging
Today I discovered that my blog was down, and I called out to my webmaster (i.e., my kid) to find out what was wrong. I was very pissed off, suffering from the delusion that my “readers” would be unable to … Continue reading
Incest is the New Black
Here we are, trying to digest the news about the crazy polygamist ranch in Texas, when a maniac in Austria admits to fathering seven kids with his imprisoned daughter. Can’t these people take turns getting arrested, so we can focus … Continue reading
The Perfect White T-Shirt
A long time ago, but not long enough, I met a handsome Cuban artist at a housewarming party. I had just read about the artist in the Los Angeles Times, and I recognized him, which gave him quite a thrill. … Continue reading
Sex With Cows Doesn’t Pay
NJ policeman Robert Melia is in trouble for ‘engaging barnyard animals in sex acts.’ He has already been charged with child molestation. Perhaps he turned to an understanding cow when he realized that sex with kids can be a risky … Continue reading
Sylvia Plath at Shopbop
Dear Sylvia, I’m sorry to inform you that there’s a dress named after you, available at Shopbop. I don’t know why anyone would name a dress ‘The Sylvia Plath’ but that’s what happened. I hope you like modal and spandex, … Continue reading
Cult Wife Fashion
I am apparently too hardened and jaded to feel bad for the crazy Mormon wives who want their children back. Like Pink Floyd says, “Leave those kids alone!” I am especially taken with the wife who led the tour of … Continue reading
The Divorce Necklace
I love this necklace! It would make a thoughtful gift for a newly divorced friend, and the online store also has an anatomically correct heart charm with a dagger to stick in it. You can never have too much jewelry, … Continue reading
Let’s Worship Olivier Theyskens
Yes, we love his work for Nina Ricci and for Rochas before that, but let’s just love him for being beautiful. I believe he is on a par with Johnny Depp, if that’s not too sacrilegious a statement. Thank you, … Continue reading
Kissing God’s Ass
Watching Hillary and Obama speak about their religious views at Messiah College was a demoralizing experience for us heathens. It was as if they each wanted to out-Christian the other: each tried to prove their cred by blabbing about the … Continue reading
Gladiator Sandals: No But Yes
I am sick to death of gladiator sandals and being urged to wear them. Every magazine and fashion blog is insisting that they are a Must. I hate them and I’m hating them more with each new batch I see. … Continue reading