Monthly Archives: June 2013

Jennifer Lopez: What a Fucking Cunt!™

  J Lo is sorry about going to Turkmenistan to sing for its dictator, President Gurbanguly Berdymukhamedov. Her “people” had “vetted” the event, but they missed the part about its human rights record. All you have to do is google ‘Turkmenistan … Continue reading

Posted in Celebrities, News, Rants | Tagged , , , | 14 Comments

Goodbye to Johnny Depp

  I’m making it official. After twenty years of devotion to Johnny Depp as my go-to romantic fantasy, I’m breaking up with him. The silly hats and the hobo outfits have been trying. The prayer-hands in response to applause have … Continue reading

Posted in Celebrities, Words | Tagged , , | 30 Comments

Desecrating Your Temple

  Everyone is freaking out about Michelle Kobke, who managed to create a tiny waist by wearing tight corsets. Personally, I find it disturbing to look at, but if her body is her temple, she is free to desecrate it. … Continue reading

Posted in Disorders, Horrible Stuff, News | Tagged , , , | 21 Comments

Rating Douches

Douches are easy to come by, but look how special they are when you have three. See here to refresh your memory. Here’s a good one I found last week:   By ‘good’ I mean fulfilling most of the requirements, … Continue reading

Posted in Fashion, irritants | Tagged , , | 26 Comments

Shoe Choices

Who wouldn’t want these expressive shoes?I love them. Only $59.95 and appropriate for every occasion. These shoes, on the other hand, are crap. Worse than crap. They are an insult to humanity. Priced at $899.95, they will only attract the … Continue reading

Posted in Fashion | Tagged , , | 9 Comments

Torturing the Guests

  Over the weekend, we hosted a small family birthday party. We had chosen the movie Edmond for the post-dinner entertainment, confident that none of our guests had seen it, since no one has, except for us and some disgruntled … Continue reading

Posted in Art, Disorders, Words | 14 Comments

The Problem with Living

  On Thursday it will be three years. I never expected to still be around. Time doesn’t heal all wounds but it changes your emotional terrain. A couple of weeks ago, I considered living for the first time.  I was … Continue reading

Posted in grief | Tagged , , | 30 Comments