The problem I’m having with this definition arises from knowing how these things come about. I hesitate to claim that these “bits” or “routines” or “semi-coherent rants” or “digital turds” arise accidentally from the 10.4 millionth monkey at the 10.4 millionth keyboard, but the amount of revision, while enough to cause consternation and confusion for my editor, is pretty minimal as is the amount of thought put into them. Over-thinking stuff is, objectively speaking, gender neutral, but from the inextricable whatevers of culturally biased subjectivity we’re going to call it effeminate and as such would be inherently inappropriate for allegedly answering questions in an allegedly manly way.

So where was I? Oh yeah, while I deliberately set out to write these things, they’re only marginally less spontaneous than this here response. Although Eliza does not seem to know the alleged definition of “contrived,” she is, I believe, attempting to be insulting while expressing her distaste or displeasure or bloated sense of self importance or, merely, her bloatedness. Whatever the case, good on her for expressing herself and calling them like she sees them! It’s always so refreshing to find someone online willing to break free of the constraints of social propriety and the actual meanings of words that I am literally contriving a phrase that isn’t literal at all in order to approximate the refreshingness of it! High five!

– Magnus Enquist, professor of ethology, Stockholm university.

Judging by what I read about last news from the Vatican and some undertakings by the Polish clergy, I agree with Romeo. Abiding by the letter of the law (and to hell with the spirit of the law) is essential if you don’t want to make Baby Jesus cry.

As for the French illegals pouring over our border, we keep a close eye on them. It’s tough, the moment they slip in they start to pretend that they are “pure laine” Quebeckers and their many times grand-grand-grand grandma was sent to Quebec in XVII century as a “fille du Roi”.