In these post-apocalyptic times slings and baseball bats will suffice, especially if all you’re doing is fending off Canadians. I would suggest, however, that you consider something like a wrist-mounted crossbow, a scimitar, or an attack dog. Attack dogs work really well and may be the only suitable replacement for a lost Grail. But since we’re talking Canada here, any man you might encounter probably has a hockey stick which serves as both Grail and defense thereof.

By the way, we Americans hear nothing about the Canadian economy. I suspect this is either because you don’t have an economy or because your economy is kicking ass. Which is it?