Comments on: Big Sister, Part I

By: Is This Happening to You? |

Is This Happening to You? | — Thu, 28 Jan 2021 03:23:36 +0000

[…] So we aren’t talking. I could apologize for insisting on a question she was not equipped to answer. We could go back to our close relationship, and wait for the next bitter conflict. […]

By: Angie

Angie — Sat, 06 Sep 2014 19:02:39 +0000

“In healthy families, children’s roles and identities are not fixed at birth or rigidly imposed early in life. In other families, however, parents fuse their children, treating them as if they were the same. The children are lumped together, treated as if they were each other’s twin despite differences in age, stage, sex and temperament. The children can become fused in their minds, because they are fused in their parents minds.”

Thanks for this. Now I have something to quote the next time my mom calls me a “monster” because she had a fight with my brother.

Honestly your relationship with your sister sounds codependent (not trying to be offensive, just my honest take on it)…it really might be better to get some space from her.

By: drollgirl.com

drollgirl.com — Tue, 26 Aug 2014 00:15:49 +0000

well your sister sounds like an asshole. SADLY we don’t get to choose our family members.

i don’t know that this will make you feel better, but i have 3 siblings. one sibling/sister is my favorite person on earth. but then there is my oldest sister — sister christian. all she thinks about is jesus/god/church/living right/going to heaven/matthewmarklukeandjohn. church church church. jesus jesus jesus. heaven heaven heaven. celibacy celibacy celibacy (did i mention my family isn’t even CATHOLIC, so sadly a nunnery is out). she attends church 3x a week, plus bible studies every friday night. BLEH! we have next to nothing in common, short of our parents, and i become incensed within minutes every time i am around her. pretty sure she feels the same way about me. yay.

and then i have a brother that sells HERBALIFE. talk about the devil himself!

well, sorry, i didn’t mean to make this all about me. i am sorry your sister is a dick! i hope she mends her ways, but until then steer clear. it’s all about self-preservation if/when possible!

By: Duchesse

Duchesse — Wed, 20 Aug 2014 12:27:34 +0000

Annemarie: Brilliant, and I hope you can take succor from that.

A few decades of this shit taught me:
1. Some relationships are limited, period. There is no guarantee that being a blood relative makes someone act decently toward you (or anyone else).
2. Time outs can keep you sane. Permanent estrangement is like abortion: sometimes necessary and always sad.
3. Accepting either the victim or villain label is a mug’s game. We all have some of both and the sooner we do not make ourselves our own hostage to either one, the better off we are.

By: Cricket9

Cricket9 — Wed, 13 Aug 2014 17:12:11 +0000

Annemarie said it all: Who the fuck cares what she thinks? This is your life, not hers.
I had two older brothers, they tortured me and beat the crap out of me – mostly the younger of the two, now dead, who also used to blackmail me into doing things or else he’ll hurt my cat. It took a while before I realized that he would never actually do it… Thanks to my brothers I’m quite resistant to pain and never, never never give up. We weren’t terribly close but went along well as adults. My oldest brother is a good to the bone person, and I love him…besides being my brother he’s just a really good guy.

By: Kellie

Kellie — Sun, 10 Aug 2014 23:04:43 +0000

I always wondered if I had missed out having a sibling.
The correct answer is no. I am satisfied that i have missed nothing.
I am so sorry that family life for you is so full of turds.
We love you, and they dont count anymore. Let them go.

xxx

By: Dj

Dj — Sun, 10 Aug 2014 17:08:46 +0000

Love ’em and leave ’em……..

By: Helent

Helent — Sun, 10 Aug 2014 16:32:29 +0000

I’m getting this for your mob wife sister – pricey at $7999 but perfect for the shrieking harpy

http://m.saks.com/pd.jsp?FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2534374306590512&productCode=0436208383186&R=436208383520&P_name=Simone+Rocha&N=306590512&bmUID=kuRaqh

By: Lynne

Lynne — Sat, 09 Aug 2014 18:32:06 +0000

This post and replies strikes close to home for me as I have two sisters I’m estranged from for different reasons. I am the oldest, but it was the middle sister who tortured me, and bullied my youngest sister. She is true bitch in every sense of the word, manipulative and ruthless. For years, I did everything to make our relationship work despite getting trashed every time. When I finally got strong enough, in my 40’s, to say no more, the whole family unit has crashed. I can’t be part if the craziness but by pulling away and setting boundaries, I have changed the dynamic (very dysfunctional) and have become their target. I have a very good job, bought a house, have been married happily for four years etc., meanwhile she has no job, no money, lives rent free in my parents house, has been through more men and marriages then most women have shoes, but somehow I am the bad person? She can’t stand it that I don’t care about what she thinks anymore, and she spends a lot of time filling my parents heads with bullshit…that they listen too. I could on and on but I won’t. Sibling relationships, especially in such a damaged family as mine, are treacherous and can ruin your life if you let them.

By: Rosie

Rosie — Sat, 09 Aug 2014 02:39:51 +0000

I think big sisters are meant to be mean to younger sisters, surely this is the way of things. My sister was mean to me (not nearly as mean as yours’, but maybe that is a lack of imagination on her part, or she didn’t think she could get away with it). I idolised her and wasted too many years trying to be like her, and now I can’t understand why. She still tries to tell me what to do and how to live my life and how stupid I am, but I live on the other side of the world now and don’t have to see her much, but I love her a lot, and she just seems a bit sad and angry to me and I feel sorry for her now.