Comments on: Bullies

By: michele woodey

michele woodey — Fri, 29 Nov 2013 22:11:22 +0000

All of five years old and arriving half way through the school year. We moved houses so much that I barely remember all the places I lived in as a child, but maybe it was ten by the time I was ten years old. It started well, with stories each afternoon like" The little Mermaid"- though I was sad about the knives she felt with every step on dry land. And then there was the very first art class ever where my daffodil painting burst out in yellow and green on the the page as if it had been waiting inside me forever. And Julie Foster was having a Birthday party on Friday after school so we danced around her at break time singing ''going to the party.... going to the party'' round and round and round until someone broke the daisy-chain suddenly dropping hands and pointing at me and shouted'' You are NOT invited!!!!!! we don't know you'' . The chant changed , along with the mood of joy and something else took its place, something that made the afternoon sunlight shining on the bricks of the school slide away into shadow. ''You're a liar'' said the girl in the blue dress-'Liar, liar liar'-'and in an instant that became the chant, on and on and on........And so for two years I stood at the edge of the playground and was called a liar and no-one ever invited me to anything or even spoke to me except the ''Other Michele'' who had one leg shorter than the other and had a limp. So I developed a limp as well and we would hold hands and leave school together, both of us limping home, ostracized at five, like fish out of water- little mermaids.

By: Dj

Dj — Sun, 27 Oct 2013 03:51:37 +0000

Thank you Debbie…I’d smash their iPhones too

By: David Duff

David Duff — Sat, 26 Oct 2013 10:39:06 +0000

“Across the legs”, dear Cricket9, because with young children that is usually the only easily available bare part of their anatomy on which you can apply an instant punishment – and if the reprimand is needed to re-enforce safety instructions then the quicker it is inflicted the better.

And the film “If” was a bit of ‘agit-prop’ tosh by yet another well-off, British. Leftie toff with more attitude than brains!

By: Cricket9

Cricket9 — Sat, 26 Oct 2013 04:23:42 +0000

@David Duff- a slap across the LEGS? Why, is spanking, birching and whipping not popular in Britain anymore? Such a time-honored tradition, or so I hear. Reminds me of he wonderful movie “If”, especially the truly satisfying ending…

By: David Duff

David Duff — Fri, 25 Oct 2013 16:24:55 +0000

‘Parents beating their children with impunity’ is a ‘strawman’ argument, Sis, you should know better! At certain points in a child’s development – and by and large the younger the better – a short, sharp slap across the legs is the very best action a parent can take. It is worth about 10 hours of usually useless verbal admonitions. And when it is done to re-enforce safety rules – like don’t fiddle with the electric socket – it is absolutely crucial.

By: Jet aka Punk Glam Queen

Jet aka Punk Glam Queen — Fri, 25 Oct 2013 11:02:34 +0000

We’ve dealt with 4 years of our daughter being bullied. Go to the administrators raise hell what do they do? Nothing. They put a stupid assembly about anti-bullying that all the bullies scoff at as they get away with it. Had to go legal on the entire school system and the parents of the sociopath (seriously she created a situation only a mastermind serial killer could and has been a pathological liar since age 4). They all buried their heads. At 10 my daughter was cornered in a hallway & surrounded by 4 13 yo boys calling her every filthy name they could come up with. Imagine the tears rolling when I had to steal my little girl’s innocence by telling her what those meant and why they were bad words. Its learned behavior. I do believe that many of the bullies are children of abuse acting out. We need to teach compassion as well as tolerance to our children. But unfortunately there are too many people who should have been sterilized so as not to reproduce. Sounds cruel, but if you can’t break the cycle of abuse then you don’t deserve children. Thankfully my daughter is strong — she hides the scars — but she never once cowed to be “one of the crowd” and if anything got wilder in the way she expressed herself with her clothing and attitude. I’m proud of her for that (gets it from mama! I also refused & went wild — which led to an amazing life!) but we still struggle even though things now that she’s in HS are much, much better. Thanks for bringing this up. I’m saddened by the stories here and hope each of us can leave the ugliness behind and live in peace.

By: Kellie

Kellie — Fri, 25 Oct 2013 01:04:35 +0000

The hard thing about bullying, is that if you can survive it-you end up the better person. The more interesting person, the more worldy person.
You don’t stay in the same small town, with the same friends from school you have always had.
You move on.
And things get fun and interesting in ways you couldn’t have imagined going through the daily hell.
But its tough going, I know. That’s how my life was for a long time. Bullied before there was a name for it.
The kids who were mean to me have stayed exactly the same, in the same suburb, doing the same things.
I have done nothing the same-and have been all the happier for it.
But it was a fucking misery for many years, and I would have loved to have been “popular” and had them as friends.
Now you couldn’t pay me money to talk to any of them, or go to the reunions.
Living well is the best revenge, but it is hard to tell that to someone who is 12 and having to deal with the bastards every day of their lives. For 6 more years.
You couldn’t pay me money to go back to High School.
But I think I would do things much the same if I did have to go back. I ended up pretty much ok, and I may be done being bitter about that whole school time, too.
Progress.

By: Liza

Liza — Thu, 24 Oct 2013 20:07:34 +0000

Sea of Shoes agrees

By: Lynn

Lynn — Thu, 24 Oct 2013 19:25:45 +0000

I know a woman who wrote a well-known book about bullying. She’s an expert in the field, and is invited to talk on tv and such when a particularly egregious episode of bullying captures public attention.

I know this woman because for three years, she rented a house I own. After she moved out, she decided she didn’t want to pay for something she had broken and had suggested we deduct from her security deposit. She wrote us a letter refusing to pay, saying she had engaged a lawyer and if we didn’t give her the $$ back, she would sue us and we would have to pay three times the original security deposit. She had money and lawyers, all we had was a lovely house we had to rent out cuz we couldn’t afford to live in it any more. So we gave her what she wanted so she would leave us alone.

In summary, I was bullied by a world-renowned expert on bullying! I despair that this method for some people (bullies) to get their way will ever go away.

By: Haydee

Haydee — Thu, 24 Oct 2013 04:05:45 +0000

Oh, that is so sad, Debbie 🙁 I feel for you. When I was in Grade School, one of my classmates invited the girls over to her place because we didn’t have a class that afternoon. I tagged along thinking everyone was invited so that included me? But when we got there and they all went in, she blocked me at the door and said that the house was already full so I had to go home by myself. That was about 20 years ago and it’s still clear in my head. Sad thing is I have always been a shy girl and that was one of the few times, I tried to be out there and be friends with the girls. One of the few and I was dumped! Superloved and adored at home (being the youngest and a Papa’s girl!), I reigned in our house but I rarely went out and was socially awkward. Until now, it’s still not that easy for me to socialize. I work better when I’m alone and I socialize better when I’m in the background and a supporting cast in a big group. Later, I focused on academics, earned a degree and I’m in a good place now! So I’d say what happened might not be that bad compared to yours or other people’s experiences but it affected me a great deal. It was both good and bad. And the fact that I have a loving family (although they didn’t know what happened to me outside) really helped me cope. I don’t have kids. Tried but couldn’t. Maybe it’s a blessing because everything’s different now and like you, I know I can very protective of my children.