Comments on: Can You Forgive Her?

By: Suspended

Suspended — Sun, 09 Sep 2018 17:08:24 +0000

Perhaps this is an unacceptable part of parenting. It’s too common not to be.

Life really loves to throw some shit at you.

By: D.R.

D.R. — Thu, 06 Sep 2018 13:37:54 +0000

Please comfort yourself with your own brilliant post (Dec. 19). I do. Often. About blame…..he blames me. Ironically, I blame Dr. Spock.

By: Sister Wolf

Sister Wolf — Thu, 06 Sep 2018 03:53:49 +0000

Dj- Oh come on, teenagers have rights. But on the other hand, their brains aren’t fully grown and that is scientific fact. So…they may be literally incapable of inhibiting certain behaviors. That’s kind of where I’m coming from.

Miranda – Yep, I feel I’ve suffered too much loss and trauma. Thank you for your support and prayers xoxo

Mary – That’s comforting, thank you xoxo

JK – Thank you Hershel xoxo

Kellie – Shit! How awful to have to find that letter. Your mom may have been a piece of many crazed emails that don’t reflect my real feelings or the spectrum of feelings I have for a person. So I hope you can remember some loving moments with your mom! If not though, there’s no shame in not missing her. I once had a dog that wouldn’t stop biting me. His name was Brownie and I don’t miss him one bit. xoxo

By: Kellie

Kellie — Thu, 06 Sep 2018 03:18:59 +0000

You had actual life issues you were dealing with. Its not like you went drinking and gambling every night and left your kid alone at home to fend for himself.
Right. None of it was ideal. They werent circumstances of your making. You did the best you could. Thats all you can do. And now wanting to make it better and reconcile is only natural. And maybe reasonable. And he should maybe be more willing.
However, I understand the mom anger. I just found a letter from one of my mothers friends, clearly as a reply to one she wrote, bitching about me to high heaven. She kept that letter in her drawer for 25 years. Almost like she wanted me to find it one day. And I did.
Its hard not to hate. And to blame.
She Has been dead for nearly 14 years now. I used to feel guilty about not missing her more. Now I remember why that is.
Do what you can to reach out, and if it doesnt work-you did what you could. And it counts.
Sending love.

By: JK

JK — Wed, 05 Sep 2018 12:50:21 +0000

Miranda puts it better than I might have, Sister Wolf, had I happened on this post unadorned by previous comment.

Mary says it too I think. Thinking as my own Mother’s last remaining child.

By: Mary

Mary — Wed, 05 Sep 2018 09:02:34 +0000

Darling, you are both still alive (a testament to your inner strength on both counts) and where there is life there is hope. You are not alone in this painful story.

By: Miranda

Miranda — Wed, 05 Sep 2018 04:36:07 +0000

Oh, dear sister. Yes, forgiveness and more. What you have endured is Shakespearian in its tragic depths. Sending you love and compassion. Sadly, “mother-blame” is still going strong in all societies. Sending prayers to all that is Holy for a healing to take place. You deserve so much more.

By: Dj

Dj — Wed, 05 Sep 2018 00:40:21 +0000

What what what? I don’t understand the meaning of “stupider words were never uttered”! I would say the same thing to a recalcitrant teen. I don’t think teens have any rights whatsoever. Period. Your rules are your rules. Maybe emotional comfort was not available to him, but many of us did not have emotional, parental support on any remotely consistent basis. As a matured man, he should be able to compartmentalize these various instances in his life. The final compartment should be a forgiveness and an understanding. He needs help here. You did your job, he has to do his or he misses out on a lot…