Chanel is Crap and Cunt of the Week™

Here is Chanel’s new red nail polish, “Pirate.” It was $23 plus tax.

This is what is looks like after one week. It is the shittiest nail polish ever. Ever. Don’t fall for it! Get some cheap brand from a beauty supply shop instead.

Because of this outrage, Karl Lagerfeld is Cunt of the Week™.

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34 Responses to Chanel is Crap and Cunt of the Week™

  1. CR says:

    i have that problem with ANY polish…or should i say, had, until i started using nailtek base coat. totally prevents chipping, even with my chanel polishes.

  2. Rosie says:

    Coco Chanel was a Nazi sympathiser (see Nasty person, nasty products.

  3. Andra says:

    I can’t get any nail polish to remain pristine after more than 3 days or so, no matter how expensive it is. Estee Lauder is probably about the best, Max Factor pretty crappy.
    A base or top coat does help.

  4. harmreduction says:

    Geez, sister…you’re killin’ me!
    I have had zero issues with chips when I use the chanel base and top coats. I am sorry this was your experience.
    It’s hard enough to justify my chanel, ( and Nars and Dolce and Gabbana) cosmetic addictions, if they failed to perform I could never justfy my purchases.
    I was so happy when you shared your New mall friendship, I would hate to think your momento of the day had lost its allure.
    Don’t give up on Chanel, sister, It will not give up on you.

  5. Desiree says:

    Thank you Sister!! I refuse to wear big brands coz I’ve smartened up and they’re total SHITE. My most long-wearing nail polishes are by Ulta, cost two bucks a bottle and come in the most awesome colours. Eat shit Karl!!!

  6. Hammie says:

    I name checked you on a post about Lancome Rouge Absolue. It’s a special edit by Kate Winslet in aid of The Golden Hat Foundation. Not sure how long the nail polish lasts but there is a lovely red lippie in there for you. Ps. My nails look like that after ten minutes, regardless of polish. That’s why I always go French.

  7. RedHead says:

    Agreed – all the expensive brands (Nails Inc also) are chip-tastic. (Though if you do it in mega-thin coats it’s ok, I once wore a Chanel one for a week with no chips on v long nails). Barry M and similar budget brands are way better.

  8. Helen says:

    I SUCK with nailpolish. I get it chipped within hours. But I still have to share!
    Once upon a time (several times, actually) I thought being snobby and consuming lots would make my self confidence grow. I bought black Chanel nailpolish because I thought it would make me a little bit cooler for some insane reason (thank you, advertising and branding for fucking up my teenage-and-now-adult brain). It chipped even quicker than all other kinds. I made a vow never to buy expensive shit again. I failed and bought Dior lipstick a while later in a period of self-loathing (trying to “fix” myself). It fucking sucked too. Expensive brands are never ethical, good or green. Just fucking evil, even more so than cheap ones because they pretend they’re all about quality and the good life and they’re only about money and pushing you further into that consumerist hellhole.

    What a long comment about something like nailpolish! Sorry for starting to associate wildly…

  9. Liz says:

    I can’t get nailpolish to stay more than a day if I don’t do gel- which totally f’s up my nails but is still worth it

  10. Joy says:

    for that you could practically get a nice gel polish manicure. ridiculous.

  11. Taylor says:

    I agree I have the yellow mimosa nail polish and it is SHIT but my roommate got the matte black and it’s amazing.

  12. moss says:

    Why do you expect to wear a polish for a week? dont you get tired of it? wear it for 5 days and refresh with another.

  13. Elaine says:

    For me, nail polish chips in a day unless there’s a basecoat, two coats and a topcoat. And then for good measure another topcoat. I’ve had decent longevity with Essie though

  14. Liz says:

    I always use OPI, a friend who’s a beautician introduced me to it. Inexpensive and lasts for weeks(except for the dark colours like navy and black, for some reason they don’t stay as well!)
    This Chanel polish is a rip off for sure 🙁

  15. RedHead says:

    PS Sister, I HAD to pass these in your direction after Grazia tweeted this pic….!/Grazia_Live/status/138915264505987072/photo/1
    Caption is ‘How amazing are these Nicholas Kirkwood for Meadham Kirchhoff shoes at the Black Frame press day!’ You can judge for yourself…

  16. Suspended says:

    @Rosie – To call Coco a Nazi sympathizer is a great understatement. She was hating Jews long before the Nazi’s gave her an excuse. Funny that she should then see out the remainder of her life on Jewish payroll, but then, her principles were as kinetic as her knickers…old slag.

    If there was ever a brand that ALL Jewish women should abhor, it’s Chanel. Oddly, it remains very popular. You see double C’s, I see a Swastika.

  17. Suspended says:

    @RedHead – WTF?? My only thought “Uber-gay Golden Girls”

  18. annemarie says:

    i think i was 10 yrs old the last time i painted my nails.

  19. patni says:

    Coco was in fact a cunt, but she had better taste in clothing than Karl. I deal with the nail polish issue by biting picking and digging at my nails so they are so hideous i would never show them off with any form of polish.

  20. Sister Wolf says:

    Redhead – Hahahahaha, jesus. Horrible.

    Suspended – From now on, I see little interlocking Swastikas.

  21. Kellie says:

    I dont know why their polishes are so shitty. I got that VAMP when it was all the rage, lord knows how many years ago.
    Wouldnt go on well, came off the next day, and the bottle went thick and gloopy in no time.
    There was a gold/green/pearly color limited edit they did. SO TEMPTED.
    had to resist.

    Return it, you will feel better.

  22. misfitina says:

    Yikes. I tend to think of nail polish as a temporary thing (like a girl in trouble) so i’ve invested in Sally Hanson Insta-dry stuff and just wear it a few days at a time. it’s $6.

    I’m sorry Chanel fucked ya.

  23. One week count yourself lucky it never lasts more than 2 days on me! And I keep my nails tres short. My sister bought me some Barbara Daly nail polish and it is brilliant. I do love the Chanel colours but I’ve managed to get out off the worship at the counter of Chanel so I’m happy that you’ve bestowed such an accolade on Karl – he needs it anyway!

  24. Liz says:

    Hey Sis! Listen if you want to make this goddammit blogged linked from your Tumblr you can erase the text you’ve got now and add this code(It works I’ve tried it on mine;) Tumblr mailbox will not let me send a link so I put it over here. for you. Hope you get to see it! L.x

  25. Liz says:

    Damn!! The code has turned it into a link!!! I’m so dumb sometimes. Write me at and I’ll e mail it you. I lost your e mail addy! L x

  26. tartandtreacly says:

    I like China Glaze for my regular nail polishes.

    If I had to go with high-end stuff I’d choose Rescue Beauty Lounge over Chanel.

  27. WendyB says:

    I’m like Make Do — I’ve never had any regular nail polish last more than two days!

  28. Catalina says:

    I can never keep still long enough to paint my nails and wait for them to be dry… so I ruin them before they even get a chance to chip anyways. I have also bought Chanel in the past and really can’t justify the price, except MAYBE for the weird dreamy colors they sometimes make.

    On a totally unrelated topic, can we talk about how mad it makes us (or am I the only crazy here) when people chew with their mouth open while speaking to you? You can almost see the wet food particles flying towards your face… and the noise, oh the noise!! It’s like an army of vaginas marching through mud,

  29. Just as I though, Chanel nail polish is expensive crap. But I do like Karl’s rosette.

  30. Aja says:

    Yeah, you’re right. It does chip much too easily! I bought a similar color from Rimmel London and it’s going strong.

  31. Sandra B says:

    Fucking return it. You paid good money for a product that let you down.

  32. Cricket9 says:

    My cheapo $4 Joe Fresh polish looks like this after a week of home renovation work. Shame on Chanel.

  33. Oh no! Sister, just a suggestion, and forgive me if this topic is somewhere in the comment thread and I missed it: If you apply the equally pricey Chanel base and top coat, I believe you’ll see a noticeable improvement . Their base and top coats are the best I’ve ever used- honestly.
    Chanel needs to pay me for all these “endorsements”, darn it. Karl, are you reading this?

  34. carla fox says:

    $23 plus for hype and bullshit. Made the same way (in foreign countries with little or no environment controls) as the drug store variety. Sorry, no sympathy here!

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