I guess I had nothing better to do (many nights) while I lie sleepless in bed other than to listen to angry people mock my illness and tell me how sorry and lazy I am, how selfish, what a whiny little attention seeker I am. So, night after night I skimmed through reading all the things my friends and my family really think about me but prefer not to come right out and say. I read to understand the secret bitterness growing in my oldest son’s heart toward me with each passing day as it is also growing toward his younger brother who has juvenile rheumatoid arthritis. All the anger and disrespect that he’s masking but letting seep out in little nuances….because he’s sick of taking up my slack–explained! All the abandonment feelings and loneliness as none of my friends check on me or dare to even try to be in my life anymore–explained! All the snickers at work behind my back, the aggravation shown me by coworkers when they had to perform a task due to my fingers and hands losing the ability to grasp things, all that mocking–explained. So, I came back night after night to educate myself on what society thinks of me and what the people I love really feel toward me.

And then you say you have fibromyalgia. That is insane.

What I want to know is if you had been experiencing symptoms at the time of your original post but were too pissed at a fibromyalgic mother for the lack of nurturing and support you needed as a child for you to even admit to yourself what was happening in your body.

I know this is an old post. If you are anywhere around please tell me how it was that you were inspired to write an article opening up an onslaught of bitterness toward sufferers only to find yourself in this condition months later.

I will say that although the article and comments that followed were very painful to read, I am not happy that this happened to you. Fibromyalgia has taken away the life I loved and given me something I have to muddle through until the relief of death brings this to a close. Although I still probably daily allow myself to hope that one day I could regain what I have lost (although time is gone foever), the reality is there will probably be no cure in my lifetime and most of the effort I put forth will only ever provide minimum improvement to my life.
This is not something I would wish on anyone. It still baffles that this happened to you.

Skye -wow, this is a new one. Horrible. I’m glad you finally got a diagnosis!!!

HelOnWHeels -oh god, I agree, life without chocolate and coffee is worthless.

Make DO – Ow for the arthritis. Brave of you to Come out!

Tobi Lynne – Thank you xoxo

Sonja. He WAS her friend! Hahahha, good call.

Mark – Your taste is always impeccable.

Andrea – Waaaaah! Yes for commiserating.

Don’t do yoga do tai chi.

Sportacus is a perv viz a viz Stephanie!

I have chronic migraines. There are times when no medication will help and I spend the day vomiting. I’m not allowed to self-medicate with red wine because they think it contributes to my migraines. I tend to conveniently “forget” that, and the bit about chocolate, coffee, cheese, etc. What’s a little vomiting for a life lived??

John Travolta? Really? Even if it’s true, would the gays really want him since he comes with that pyramid-plan/scam-masquerading-as-religion thing-a-mabob?

A few years ago I had Ross River Fever, which made me all headachy and fatigued and dizzy and achy and no one diagnosed it. They just kept telling me to get into meditation or do some exercise (which would result in me vomiting and passing out) because I was clearly just neurotic. Finally after 3 months of this a doctor finally did the right blood test, and suddenly I wasn’t crazy anymore. Miracle!

Ross River Fever recurs whenever you get stressed or run down, so I have these days or sometimes weeks where I walk around feeling hungover all the time – which sucks when I didn’t even get drunk in the first place. It really is the stupidest thing ever, and I hate it – but at least it does go away again.