Cunt of the Week™: BleachBlack

This week’s award will have to be shared by the two authors of BleachBlack, a style blog that is rife with exclamations of fuck,   sick, dude, stoked, rad, killer, major, kickass, um, and all the other blogese we have come to expect from 20-something women who act like naughty schoolgirls.

Bleach and Black created a green nail polish called “Dickweed,” and that was just silly.

Now, they’ve come up with a new color called “Jizz,” a pearly-white that is modeled above by their pal Roomy, whom they slavishly mention at every opportunity.

Here’s the problem. It’s one thing to be a stupid would-be whore who manages to make money by posting photos of consumer goods and videos   with the caption “How amazing is this!” or “Hedi Slimane is a Genius!” It’s another thing to market nail polish called Jizz to their audience of clueless fashion girls.

Jizz? Dude. Is that like the coolest, funniest name for white nail polish, like ever?

I wouldn’t like to have to explain to my kids what jizz means. The whole idea is just sad. Why not spunk or smegma? I don’t like people who use the word jizz. They should use the word “come” but they don’t need to use it for nail polish. I think that in recent years, young girls have been giving out blowjobs with their phone numbers; the act has been downgraded from one of love and intimacy to a cheap party favor.

Nail polish called Jizz is an extention of that trend. It’s also a reminder of how the vernacular of porn has entered the everyday consciousness of the masses.

I resent BleachBlack for blighting my life with their lowbrow witlessness. Why did god make them? I hope you will join me in congratulating them for achieving the coveted Cunt of the Week  award!

This entry was posted in Horrible Stuff, Rants, revenge and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

85 Responses to Cunt of the Week™: BleachBlack

  1. Cricket9 says:

    No idea about queef either – but maybe I’m better off not knowing?

  2. Sister Wolf says:

    PennyDreadful – Oooh, thanks for reminding me of ‘cretins.’ I need to bring that back into rotation, that and ‘philistines!’

    Andra & Cricket9 – I’m certain that we won’t be happy if we find out what it means.

    WendyB – Yes, and no porn-spelling as per Mister Robert, above.

  3. TheShoeGirl says:

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! Queef= pussy fart. Such a gross thing.

    I love it.

  4. Sister Wolf says:

    TheShoeGirl – Ohhhhh, that’s a relief, I can deal with that. It sounds kind of French, like quiche. Not really a nail polish, though. One hopes.

  5. Khatu says:

    Just came across your blog and your random rantings are so… honest, funny and yet refreshing. The name is kinda funny but unappropriated. Jizz just sounds dirty. Maybe pearl necklace is more suitable.

  6. Bessie the Buddha cow says:

    Southpark did an episode on Quiefing. There’s nothing taboo on Southpark, or Weeds (love Weeds; the only soap I watch).

    “Sometimes happens, due to pressure changes in the vagina particularly during the orgasm. //Expulsion of air after or during sexual intercourse.”

  7. kate says:

    Miss Cavendish is right on about the Urban Decay precursor. That and Hard Candy Trailer Trash silver. I have this super yuppie-Jewish aunt who gave everyone a bottle of Trailer Trash in the late 90s because she thought it was so clever. She’s an ambulance-chasing lawyer who mostly works for people, who…you got it…live in trailers.

    Ironic and trashy beauty product names are for snobs and wannabe skaters. I suggest Bleached Brain and Corporate Greed to OPI for more of a deep insult.

  8. S says:

    I don’t really care about the name of the nailpolish. It’s just a pearly white color anyway. HiwearesoldineverydrugstoreinAmericaalready.

    But I agree about the “slavishly mention at every opportunity” comment. It is rather obvious and sad that this girl clearly worships her “friend.” I don’t know about Roomy, but I would rather my friends be my equal… not my fan girl. But she seems like the type that would like that.

  9. dust says:

    Stupid cunts.

  10. Braindance says:

    Queef=pussy fart
    I now have more ammo to terrorize my friends with

    Sister wolf, I also died a little inside when felching was explained to me, the imagery is too disturbing.

  11. JS says:

    Don’t take this the wrong way Miss Wolf, but I adore you. Don’t ever stop posting.

  12. Jizz is such a heinous word, always hated it. Got no problem with semen, hate jizz.

  13. Cricket9 says:

    Oh, now I know what queef is – one is learning every day. I find it quite innocuous. I’m thinking that we don’t even have words in Polish for queef or felching…

  14. annemarie says:

    what does felch mean?

  15. Sonja says:

    The only time to use the word ‘jizz’ is while playing Scrabble. Major points.

  16. Nats says:

    Ha ha – Roomy has jizz on her nails. Dirty bitch.

  17. Personally, I think the name ‘Jizz’ is very classy and sophisticated, however if it was up to me, I would have gone with a radder, more edgy name like ‘Man Yogurt’. Maybe you guys just aren’t getting it? -It’s like, hella empowering take the seed of creation -Jizz (Man Yogurt), and apply it as nail polish. I think it’s a profound statement to the dominant male power structure that no linger will your Jizz/ Man Yogurt keep women in the kitchen, barefoot an pregnant, subservient to a man’s desires. It’s 2010 ladies, and we (I.E. you no homo) don’t have to apologize to anyone for giving out BJs like handshakes and Anal like a pat on the back. I think anyone who says differently is not a feminist and is just being a hater! I support Kristen and Roomy and all their Jizz products; -yo GO Guuuuuuurllss!!!

  18. meredith says:

    ha ha! smegma! that’s the best!

    i totally hear ya tho!

  19. anonyomous says:

    they are making money and you are not. end of story.

  20. Cricket9 says:

    How do you know, Anonymous, that we are not? I actually am – just not by selling cosmetic products with stupid names. By the way, I’m sure crack dealers make money too – so?

  21. Angelica says:

    They’re not “edgy,” they’re just tryhard. Most women these days are whores with no decency.

  22. Brie says:

    A dried rust red/brown called “Used Tampon”. That I want to see.

  23. V says:

    Baby traffickers make money too. Making money off of a website… some people do it with innovative ideas which help more than themselves. It must be our bad, for having a problem with vapid narcissism and general obnoxiousness.

  24. Madeleine says:

    I dont even know what to say
    I feel nothing towards this, well possibly a little boredom
    Maybe I’ll cum in a bottle, fill the rest with tabacco and vomit and call it Filthywhore

    I love you sisterwolf
    I dont know if you’ll be into this
    but can you take a look at
    because seriously, I think I’m the only one that can see how fucking upsetting she is

  25. Faux Fuchsia says:

    I buy lots of Nailpolish.

    I wouldn’t buy this one. It’s an ugly colour and the name is fairly silly too.

  26. jamie says:

    sister wolf….

    how are you going to be upset about “JIZ” if you are giving out the “CUNT-of the week” award?! That’s just non-sense.

  27. sketch42 says:

    Ever look at the names of the colors at the nail place? nauty n nice, marshmallow, ballet slippers…. Jizz.

    Hahahhahah. Im sure those girls are doushy though, since you say so.

  28. Suspended says:

    I had little regard for the word Jizz until this –

    Now I can’t help but sing it, all day long.

    They should name their next nail polish ‘shitty panies.’

  29. Elena says:

    I think the use of the word jizz is supposed to distract you from realizing that it’s just pearl/white nail polish.

  30. I’m all for a good shot in the face every now and again (watch the hair) but what your argument makes me think of is this “faux-sexuality” I see on many blogs. Until these girls start blogging about their adventures in anal sex, I’m not going to believe a word!

  31. Waikikicane says:

    Glee just got replaced in my heart by madmen..

  32. wooooooooo, in my 200's. one step closer to you madmen in your 1000's ): LOLLL

  33. Wow, even though they produced the superb choice to make use of a classical orchestra inside the show, what an insulting selection of music; it’s a poor film score to? a story with no plot! I’m nonplussed by the whole thing, clothes, makeup and all; simply not as chic as it need to be.

  34. elyse says:

    I realize they are making money by pushing consumer goods on others. It’s sad. You state that their use of the word “jizz” is a reminder of how vocabulary that is usually exclusive to porn has entered our vernacular. Yet you are the one distributing “Cunt of the Week” awards…

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