Comments on: Fear

By: Sprockets

Sprockets — Tue, 12 Jun 2012 13:58:19 +0000

Fear is the rational response to the dangers of this world. Also, you’re old enough to know that things often don’t turn out all right. And of course gravity sucks. Try to not be afraid of your fear.

By: Erika

Erika — Tue, 05 Jun 2012 05:01:06 +0000

Kellie, the same thing happened to me . Tripped in my platforms, then again so now I wear flats only. Not just flats but super comfortable shoes. My shoes are too collecting dust and I have been sad but heels look kinda dumb to me now and I comfort myself saying I am way ahead of the curve and giant dumb platforms are passÃ© while also missing my giant dumb platforms I haven’t worn in almost a year.

Eelainee, what you said is true and beautiful and you learned so much from your pains. Also I have some thoughts about parent child connections that go deeper than what we see on the surface or tap into consciously. Good for you recognizing this and so wanting to change it.

I’m afraid of not sleeping properly because of dreams, nightmares…this has been ongoing for me for years. It’s hard to sleep at night and have to hold a 9-5 job but I’m managing and I am lucky in some respects to jot have a regular office job ( it’s not great – but it’s not formal so there is some breadth) I am afraid of my hormones. Pms is getting worse with age and I imagine menopause could be horrifying.

I guess hats all I have that’s tangible. I could go on with my fears of what hides under the bed or lurks out there but that list would be endless. Keep your head up. We are all afraid and you are not alone.

By: Just A Girl

Just A Girl — Mon, 04 Jun 2012 21:54:11 +0000

I have diagnosed OCD and anxiety disorder. My OCD is predominantly obsessive thoughts. I’m basically afraid of EVERYTHING! lol I used to be much worse, but medication does wonders! My biggest fears are bridges, thunderstorms (thunder more than lightning), dying, getting in a horrific car accident, being in tall buildings, high floors in hotels.

Oddly, the older I get, or maybe it really is the medication doing all the magic, the less I fear all those things. I force myself to drive over bridges, will stay in upper floor hotel rooms if necessary (even if I do have a anic attack before I talk myself down and fall asleep), and I drive without too much worry.

Oh yeah, I am afraid of fear, too. Weird.

By: Debra

Debra — Mon, 04 Jun 2012 15:52:27 +0000

Fear should have been my middle name. When I was 23 I fell down a very long flight of stairs. I had a cup in one hand and my bag in another. I luckily fell on my stomach, put my arms out in front of me and slid down, bump, bump, bump, bump. I was working at G.E. at the time and I went to the Company Dr. I said I was ok, but ended up with contusions all over my body. In addition, I was wearing a wrap dress and when I slipped, my friend screamed, it drew a crowd and when I landed at the bottom of the stairs my dress was wide open. If it didn’t hurt so much and wasn’t so embarrassed I would have laughed.
When I was 24, I was driving on the freeway and all of a sudden I had a panic attack. Of course I didn’t know it was a panic attack, I just knew I needed to get off the freeway right now. It was 4 years before a friend of mine told me about a book by Dr. Claire Weeks called Peace from nervous suffering. I found out I was an agoraphobic(now called panic disorder), by then I was not working, not driving and almost housebound. I thought I was going crazy and I couldn’t see a way out of it. It took 13 years and a lot of practicing, desensitizing and an amazing Husband to help me through it. Now I would have taken an SSRI and probably would have got better a lot sooner. I still have my moments, I just had a fistula(very small), but scary and I have been unemployed for 4 years.
I have fallen a number of times while walking for exercise by not paying attention to what is going on in front of me.
The funny thing is, I really believe I’m a strong person, a fucked up one, but a strong one.
Thanks Sister for opening yourself up for us everyday.

By: Rosie

Rosie — Mon, 04 Jun 2012 12:23:03 +0000

Thank you for the tips, sister. The cops have warned him that I have grounds for an AVO. Hopefully that’s enough, and I will not hesitate in taking one out if he does anything else.

“Pepper spray” – hahaha, I think that’s illegal in Oz.

By: Andra

Andra — Sun, 03 Jun 2012 23:30:55 +0000

Well, I have taken to falling off chairs a lot in the past year or so. I can fall over in my garden quite easily and remember, I managed to fall over in a gym a couple of months ago, while playing with 2 year old children, and broke my shoulder.
Falling over is so easy.
Like falling off a log or something, although I haven’t tried that yet.
And I ain’t scared of nuthin’!

By: Juri

Juri — Sun, 03 Jun 2012 08:12:17 +0000

When I was five years old, or probably younger, I was afraid of the weather forecast in our black and white television. Whenever it was on I would hide myself behind an armchair and cry in horror. My parents found it hilarious. I think it was the vocabulary that freaked me out.

I don’t think any fears I’ve had later in my life have gotten anywhere close to that feeling.

By: Bevitron

Bevitron — Sun, 03 Jun 2012 07:52:00 +0000

I’m scared of the usual shit, but mostly of ever being a stranger in my own head. I’m so afraid of that, that I think I cling to my fears, reasonable and irrational, because they give me a kind of comfort. “Yep, I’m still here, still in this familiar place where all the scary shit is, having my usual nightmares.” I worry about necrotizing fasciitis and where do those awful bacteria hang out and why aren’t more people losing legs and hands to that stuff every day, and how the rareness of it makes it even MORE scary and obsessible. Let’s see… and lethal midline granuloma (if you don’t know what that is, don’t look it up, I’m warning you) and other hideous shit that sounds so unbelievably horrible you’d think a bunch of teenage boys made it up to outdo each other. Then I back off and worry about how I could let my brain just sit and idle like that, running out all its gas on such pointless exercises. That’s the kind of crap I do when I’m depressed, and I’m for sure very depressed these days.

Then, pat and simplistic as it sounds, I listen to something (yesterday it was the Dvorak cello concerto; Rostropovich version – bless YouTube’s heart), or sing along to something as ridiculous & annoying as Gilbert & Sullivan (anything), or something as great as Al Green, whatever. It changes my brain chemistry or something like that, for a little while.

I don’t know Sister Wolf, I still think your grief is following some kind of logical progression, and it definitely doesn’t have to end badly. You’re here, doing this, with people responding to you, and I know that touches you, so you’re full of hope even if you don’t see it often. You enrich lots of lives and that’s no small thing. Just keep coming back, please.

By: Kellie

Kellie — Sun, 03 Jun 2012 01:26:59 +0000

I went through a falling peiod. Once you fall, it becomes a fear.

I had never fallen and broken my ankle. Then I did, and discovered you dont fall THEN break your ankle. You break your ankle and then fall because it hurts so badly that you cant even stand it or up.

Then it healed, and was better. So then I sprained/twisted it in glorious falling fashion.
Then, I sprained the ankle on the other side. You dont want to appear to favor one leg over the other.

And so I have flat shoes I feel safer in, although I manage to stumble over myself in those.

And the rows of fabulous shoes gather dust, while I work out if it is mme or them that is casuing my issue with uprightness.
And if it matters.

By: Cristine

Cristine — Sat, 02 Jun 2012 22:47:29 +0000

I have fallen hard, from sliding off the sides of cliffs & horses to the dozens of dog/beach/body slams with barely a scratch. 2 years ago my right hip just happily crumbled on it’s own & I had to live with it broken for almost a year dragging my leg behind me like a recalcitrant puppy until my “team” of doctors (remember when we used to have only one GP, an OB/Gyn & a dentist?) agreed that the pain took precedence over the serious risk surgery posed for me. I came through the surgery without incident except for a crumbling right knee that also has to be replaced.
So now I am afraid of falling.
If I do fall, I have the great humiliation of having to have someone help me up.
I am deeply afraid of losing those that I love.
I’m not afraid of the great pain (physical) I live with & sometimes even embrace it.
I am afraid of complacency & procrastination & that I can no longer spell without spellcheck & that my iPhone is worlds smarter than I’ll ever be.
But I have a man & a dog that I love beyond reason & as long as I can fall asleep & wake up with them I can live with the pain & fear & uncertainty.