Comments on: Make No Friends But Keep the Old

By: Sister Wolf

Sister Wolf — Fri, 31 Dec 2021 23:09:27 +0000

Bevitron – I fixed it. But anyway, halfway through your comment, I thought, “BUT WE ARE GOLDEN FRIENDS! Wherever you are, you are on my wavelength. If you lived near me, we would hang out every single day. Your existence has been a joy and a comfort to me throughout. Never leave me.

By: Bevitron

Bevitron — Fri, 31 Dec 2021 12:37:51 +0000

I just don’t know how to do it. Every last one of my great friends of yesteryear have moved away, died, or find my psychic scars from my last devastating depression to be too damn repellent and scary to risk exposure. I’ve tried hanging out with the people who like some of the same stuff I like but it’s just awkward and sad, and it makes me ache for that kind of miracle friendship that you just fall into, god knows how, and you both find the same shit hilarious and appalling and there’s no adjustment period, and conflicts and fights are workable annoyances. It’s gold. The best kind of thing I can drum up anymore is tin and zinc, and my resentment kills off any potential. I think it’s because I’m old and inflexible and not a positive type. No kids, so there’s that, too. Oh Lord, cue violins. Memento mori and all that shit.

Keep writing your wonderful words, Sister Wolf. You’re my best friend that you don’t know that you are. I send gold friend-love every day.

By: Romeo

Romeo — Mon, 27 Dec 2021 20:45:38 +0000

It’s none of my business, but @Pocketsound could always “try lesbianism” before her husband dies. He might even prefer that sequence of events.

By: Sister Wolf

Sister Wolf — Sun, 19 Dec 2021 03:47:30 +0000

Sally – I would SO love to have coffee with you! I had my second child at 40, and I remember how weird it as. But even as a young mother, I found it hard to relate to other parents who I had nothing in common with except motherhood. With my second kid, I was lucky enough to find a small group of older moms who shared a sensibility…smart and sarcastic…but it was pure luck. Most people are so boring so it figures that all those parents in the park are boring too. I just wish we could have that fucking coffee.

By: Sally

Sally — Sat, 18 Dec 2021 06:30:42 +0000

I had a kid “late” at 40 will be 50 next year. There is so much to “unpack” (my god that word!) in becoming a first time parent at that age when most of the parents at school are up to 25 years younger than me.I have only met two women, one my age and another 5 years older who were in the older first time parent of a “single” child. I ended up ghosting both of them after giving a lot of myself. It has been absolute pain meeting with mums from playgroups, mother’s groups to now – the school fricking gate. I have tried valiantly for 10 years to ensure my kid gets to hang out with peers in age, organising playdates and dealing with the anxiety around hanging/meeting new people where we only have our kids in common. My hubby doesn’t have to expend the mental/emotional energy this takes as I’m the primary carer (and have been out of the workforce for 10 years). I thought he didn’t understand but recently surprised me by saying “I can’t wait until we don’t have to go to the park anymore”, he finds it sad, us parents standing around avoiding eye contact (we do it too) whilst supervising the kid. I hear that when the kids get to high school you don’t have to deal with parents. I will say that one friendship has endured that I’ve made since becoming a mum, a woman ten years younger from mother’s group when our kids were just months old. Sisterwolf you are like a friend here on your blog (sounds corny I know!) because I relate to so much of what you say and you’ve shared so much it feels like I know you. I’m on the other side of the planet but would love to have coffee with you! Btw yeah, Vee’s insights are amazing and ring true.

By: Sister Wolf

Sister Wolf — Mon, 13 Dec 2021 20:36:22 +0000

Kellie – I guess it’s one good thing about having to go to work…a chance of meeting someone with a shared perspective (or at least someone you could have coffee with!)

By: Kellie

Kellie — Mon, 13 Dec 2021 11:13:03 +0000

The only way I have met new people is through my job. Where there is no getting away from them and we either click or don’t. Making friends now seems like dating, People have a bunch of options and pick the one they think will demand the least from them.
I hate it. And having a personality is not needy. It’s realistic. Maybe they are so used to people in the tv that they can just turn off, and the people magically disappear? Requiring no emotional energies?
I don’t know but it’s lame.

By: Sister Wolf

Sister Wolf — Sat, 11 Dec 2021 22:48:08 +0000

J D – Aw, shit, about your therapy group. You’re probably not a group person. Me neither. Have tried, can’t do it. I hear you about not wanting anything…I think it’s just being numb from life’s punches, worlds events, etc. We can be cyber-friends! Cyber-friends are sometimes realer than the other kind. xo

By: J D

J D — Fri, 10 Dec 2021 01:08:20 +0000

I find myself in the same boat. I have given up trying,esp. after having joined a therapy group where the members gave me shit for not trying enough. After assessing what I want out of life this afternoon I realized it was no longer anything at all. Mostly I try to avoid being a bother to everyone. I’m happy to be your friend, but I am on the east coast. I broke up with my family last summer and at this point only have my husband. Don’t mean to sound whiny. I too like fashion and rock music. Been reading your blog since around 2010.

By: Sister Wolf

Sister Wolf — Thu, 09 Dec 2021 00:24:58 +0000

Vee – How amazingly insightful of you! On so little information, I think you’ve nailed it. I’m so impressed! And grateful! xo