However, I when I need to, I wallow. When I do feel shit for long enough I get angry and turn it outwards (to paraphrase Tony Soprano) then set my mind on whatever it takes to solve things.

That’s just me.

The rest of my people need to hear what you say. They need to feel unashamed to be pissed off, depressed, unwilling to accept the plate of shit that life has served them. So they too can get on with it.

And the gift of cancer? Fer fucks sake!! why doesn’t someone kick these people in the arse?

Sister, we need to get YOU a publishing deal. “The little book of being a fucking cunt TM”

xx

There is a huge difference between grief and self-pity. Grief is about death. It’s an unhappiness borne of the human condition and existential fact of our finitude. Self-pity, on the other hand, has one object: ME.

I still love you too…. more than you know!

Ann – “Regular Ann” hahahaha!

SWanDiamondRose – Bad attitude = cancer is the worst piece of garbage ever. Grrrrrrrr.

Kate – You should be writing this, not me.

Honeypants – I love you more!

SwanDiamondRose – Me too.

Juri – A-fucking-men.

Queen Marie – Yes, the sword looks silly with the walker, I can’t wait to get rid of it. xoxo

annemarie – Self pity doesn’t equal “why not somebody else” to my mind. It’s just literally, “I pity myself. I feel sorrow for my own misery.” If the term self pity is seen as pejorative, that’s cuz our culture is so fucking repressive and puritanical. What about other cultures where it’s acceptable for grieving families to sob hysterically at funerals?? Look how people in the US and the UK frown on that, when it’s actually so normal?

Let us disagree in a dialogue that we can post here later, how about that? But don’t forget I love you, xo.

Dena – Prayers for you to get a job asap. You sound like a samurai. xo

arline – HA, thank you! Ignorance is always the enemy!

Mrs. Shreck – I love you too.

Sarah P – Thank you! I love your big balls! xoxo

Jill – Looking forward to our talk show.

JK – Okay, thanks for the tip. xoxo

Ann – Well, you are my idol in the samurai category. Hair category also.

Eline – Great article, thank you!!

ALicia – Oooh, cats and eye-gouging: very tempting.

Deni – I will get even with those fuckers if I have the energy once this is over. Meanwhile, I hope you’re feeling better! xoxo

Iron Chic – YES YES YES, dammit!

Vee – MORE YES! Will go read that article. xoxo

Make Do – And you always prevail! Can’t wait to read your paper.

Moda – Fuckers! I’m glad you’re here, I love you too.

fashionherald – Yep, now I feel responsible for him. Very upsetting.

WEndyB – Exactly.

Susan – But why would you want to send a puerile link in response to a heartfelt post?? I always disable links that offend me, not wishing to send traffic their way. I am constantly disabling links to Ugg boots and Smokin Hot Moms, for example. If anyone wants the links, they need only ask and I’ll send them along.

Ann – Really? I feel pretty predictable at this point. Thanks!

The pressure to be positive is uniquely American and that is why everyone is on anti-depressants here.

However, I don’t know of any culture that approves of self-pity, which is a bullshit of an emotion. In fact, I don’t think it even is an emotion, since it basically says “why me? why not somebody else?” and is therefore utterly rational in the worst possible way. Self-pity=bullshit. I’m sorry I disagree with you.

But that trusted advisor should shut his mouth. In a free world, reading nonsensical self-help books (and believing in them) is everyone’s own decision but spreading that crap around is downright inconsiderate.

As a rule, forced positivity makes me want to strangle somebody. Those “you choose to be sick” people would do well to catch some terminal disease, or get paralyzed like Superman, before offering their wisdom to others.