Rape is particularly difficult because it requires the prosecution show the alleged victim did not want to have sex and the alleged rapist intended to rape beyond a reasonable doubt which is already a steep standard and it frequently comes down to a girl’s word against a guy’s. As a law student, I’ve read many outrageous rape cases–one of which involved a man squeezing the neck of a woman while she cried and begged for her life…which was later interpreted by the court as a ‘heavy caress.’

But. What is a man had some drinks with another guy, and ended up being raped by him Would his friends tell him to suck it up? I’m guessing that people would find this srot of rape more horrifying and criminal.

Pretty fucked up, eh?

After some thought, I’ve decided that the S&M community has the rest of society beat by a long run. Instead of ‘no,’ the sanctity of which has been brutalized and mutilated by pornography and R-rated movies, why not just have a safe word? Saying no might be misconstrued as a means to further the excitement by some but surely saying ‘onomatopoeia’ while half-dressed will clearly alert the person your onomatopoeia means no and this no really means no. Think about it: the worst mistakes most women have ever made sexually is sleeping with someone they have no or little understanding of due to a failure to communicate. If we taught all children to slow down, think if they want to have sex, and then tell them they should sit down with that other person and come up with a safe word before going at it, our children would 1) think a lot more thoroughly about sex; 2) communicate better with their sex partners. Sure, it wouldn’t stop a man from forcing a woman if he really wanted to–but at least that woman could go to court testifying that she said ‘yellow’ in the middle of getting undressed, the man heard her, and still went on with it with full knowledge yellow was the safe word.