It is only natural that Trump invites Kanye to Trump Tower instead of holding that scheduled press conference.

Kanye has just been released from a psychiatric ward so he’s the perfect guest for today’s episode of The Trump Show. (And watch the dap, it is truly the money shot.)

They will work their way up to Kim and maybe even Kylie for the youth market, then they can have Young Thug, Ariana Grande, Justin Bieber, The Bachelor, and the Victoria’s Secret models.

Later in the season, there will be Madonna, to talk about misogyny and ageism. Drake will hang out with Trump and Jred Kushner in a mini Jewish Summit.

This is the show of our dreams, if our dreams are a waking nightmare, and we’ll watch it    whenever we gather our nerve to crawl out of bed.

I’d like to suggest interspersing The Trump Show, season 1, with viewings of Bunuel’s L’Age d’Or. It can serve as a bracing counterpart to the ongoing Idiocracy .

Bunuel’s L’Age d’Or operates on the duality between gold and shit. And throughout the film, everything sacred and pure was eventually equated to what is base and foul.

God, shit, president, moron, news, conspiracies, politicians, celebrities, make everything great again.

I can’t take much more for today so I’m retiring to my bed. Wake me up if Kim makes an appearance or Trump blows Putin or Exxon cancels the series. thanks!

Happy now? Me neither!

Here you can see the stupid leggings that I was the last to know about. I think they are less horrible than reputed to be, but they are not comfortable and there is no point to them. Where would I wear them, and why? It’s like wearing an elastic girdle from waist to ankle.

If I were a black prostitute with a bubble butt, maybe.

These stupid Black Rats retail for $175. You can win them for the price of shipping and handling, simply by explaining to me why I bought them, in 500 words. Or, by making me laugh out loud. I will post the winning entry and then I’ll have one less reminder of my tragic shopping addiction.

If only I hadn’t bought these Rats, I might allow my self to buy this amazing cashmere sweater from Henri Bendel. It was designed by a student-teacher team from SCAD, and comes in two different floral patterns.

Admit it’s beautiful!

Finally, back to PAP Smear business: Did you see the Church Lady’s blank face when asked about the Bush Doctrine? Of course I didn’t know what it meant either but I’M NOT RUNNING FOR VICE PRESIDENT! He should have asked her about birth control or why she drops her g’s when she talks to Alaskans.

Please, please, take her away.