A long time ago, but not long enough, I met a handsome Cuban artist at a housewarming party. I had just read about the artist in the Los Angeles Times, and I recognized him, which gave him quite a thrill. I was mad at my then-boyfriend, so I encouraged the attention of the handsome artist, who licked the palm of my hand and asked for my phone number.

The following evening, we went out to dinner. He was wearing a white t-shirt. He began a long soliloquy about his search for the perfect white t-shirt. I realized to my horror that he was an idiot. He discussed his t-shirt obsession without a hint of irony or self-consciousness. I could barely eat. The date ended in a gruesome exchange of minor sexual favors and I was not surprised to discover that his paintings were all dominated by a giant phallus. If only I could remember his name!

Anyway, I myself love to find a nice white t-shirt. It’s hard to find one with the right fit and fabric. I prefer a classic crew neck and a soft, thin, stretchy cotton. So far, the closest I’ve come to perfection is the James Perse basic short-sleeve crew and the same style by Zooey. If there’s anything better, I want to know about it! I’d also like to remember that Cuban idiot’s name, but nothing will retrieve it.