Dear Jack,

I thought you should know that Shopbop is selling these Kerouac Ripped Leggings, named after you.   Try not to take it too personally, they once had a dress named after Sylvia Plath.

I should confess that I never liked your writing or even your whole mythology, although I do love your pal William Burroughs. But I did go to see that long role of paper you used to write “On the Road.”   Did you know that in the Strand bookstore in NYC, they keep “On the Road” behind the counter, due to its appeal to thieves? I guess your book is the literary equivalent of the Gillette Mach 3 razors you have to ask for at CVS and Rite Aid.

Please accept my apology for the leggings. Maybe some day, Rumi might wear them! Then, your life will not have been in vain.

Sincerely,

Sister Wolf