It’s my birthday, hooray for me! I would like these 18K safety pin earrings, set with black diamonds.   And I feel that they are longing for me, all the way from Browns in London. Someone stupidly priced them at $3,000, so I’m going to be strong and live without them. For now.

Here’s what I want in lieu of the earrings. I’d like everyone to say stuff like “Happy birthday, you old bag!” and “Haha, you’re that much closer to being 60!”

I would also like someone to think of a new word I can use. I just got an email from Target, announcing a newsletter for “frugalistas.” God, no. Recessionista is bad enough.   What would be a good word for someone who complains about fashion? A Negativista?   I’m sure someone out there could do better.   I’m a little “on my meds” right now. Help a Sister out.