Jane Pratt has finally launched her new online magazine and I want to know why something so awful and pointless can even get off the ground. Everything about it is stupid and bad.

And where’s Tavi?? Remember when this was going to be a joint project? Who is our Blogging Business Deal specialist? Please report back on this intriguing mystery.

Meanwhile, this awful Jane crap got me thinking about how there is really nowhereto go online if you want some entertainment for smart people. The Huffingting Post is just populist garbage, Jezebel is too full of itself and has too much attitude, The New Yorker isn’t visually appealing, Arts & Literature Daily has too many choices to sift through, pop culture websites are too geared toward the bourgeois hipster, etc etc.

Why can’t we have something good, with lots of thoughtful, funny, sophisticated, and provocative essays and photos?

I started talking about this to a friend, and tried to explain the target audience for this imaginary project. All I could think of was “you know, people like us: bitter intellectuals.”

He liked the sound of this overlooked market and so do I. I want to start an online magazine for Bitter Intellectuals. We’ll have a daily column about annoying words or phrases, obviously. We’ll have reviews of movies and music, critiques of other blogs, advice on stuff that grown ups care about, debates about politically incorrect subjects, merciless satire, personal stories of defeat and humiliation, and so much more. With good art.

Who would like to get in on something like this? Who has any experience in starting a no-budget venture? Who wishes there was a place to go online where they would never see words like “social-networking” or “game-changing” or terms like “tresses” or “locks” instead of “hair?” Most important, who has the enthusiasm to make me follow through on this?

Looking for photos by Serge Lutens, I came across a beautiful blog, Strawberige.   It’s a wonderland of lovely images.   No blogger crap, just pleasure.

Then, I ended up at a blog called Fashion Heroines, by someone who says she loves being a woman and hates feminism. Hmm. The photos are arresting, like the ones of Liu Wen below:

Feminism sheminism. If it transports me from the hell of Sarah Palin and sentences that begin with “Umm,” I am grateful.

I started reading Jezebel.com when they reported on Terry Richardson‘s bad behavior, earlier this year. I was really impressed by the muck-raking spirit of the writer, who followed the story with several updates.

One was about how awesome Tavi was to openly condemn Richardson on her blog. I wrote to the author to whine that I had blogged about Richardson weeks before Tavi did, but she graciously ignored me.

I wanted to at least get in on the comment action, so I typed into the comment box, innocently thinking that mere mortals could state their opinions.   But no, far from it! I’ve been meaning to share this discovery for ages, so here, let Jezebel explain it to you in their own words:

How do I get approved to comment?

We only approve the comments we love–so make sure you’re adding something of quality to the post. Stay on-topic and seek to further the conversation. Leave us a juicy story on the #tips page or throw your hat into the ring of our open forums.

If we approve your comment, your username and password will be activated and you’ll be able to login and comment freely from then on (or at least until you get banned).

Do you have any tips for auditioning?

Leaving multiple high-quality comments on different threads with your newly created account increases your chances of getting approved.

Show your stuff–make your audition a worthy addition. “Firsts!”, “yays” and “nays” will be summarily ignored. See Lifehacker’s Guide To Weblog Comments for suggestions on how to begin.

We value intelligent contributions, respect for community etiquette, good grammar, and not feeding the trolls. Proper use of punctuation, capitalization and time taken in typing will earn you extra points. Ignoring any of the above will subtract considerably.

Whoa! Life is too short to spend time auditioning to comment at Jezebel, don’t you think?

What the hell are “Fashion Jews?”   Amy Odell is losing it over at The Cut.

The Cut is a HUGE blog. How can this headline still be up after it appeared this morning?! What next, Fashion Blacks? Or is it just a Jew Thing… like Sports Jews, Business Jews, Art Jews? I guess when I go to Starbucks, I’m a Coffee Jew.

I’ll bet you anything, by tomorrow someone will be selling t-shirts that say “Fashion Jew.” I want one!

They forget the monkey fur, but otherwise, perfect, don’t you think?

Refinery 29 just launched a Los Angeles-based blog and here is part of today’s post about redheads, written by the editor:

Maybe all the brunettes are lightening up for summer or maybe there’s something appealing about standing out in the So-Cal sea of blonde-and-bronze, but we think this is a hair trend that’s catching on like, well, wild fire. So, when we saw this insanely beautiful new fashion shoot (sent to us by our dear friend, Hamish), we nearly flipped our lid. The editorial, shot in London by expert lens-woman, Kate Cox, captures the photographer’s redheaded friends, and somehow has a totally hippie-esque L.A.-in-the-’70s-vibe to it. We’ve included a few of Kate’s red-hot shots and asked a local go-to hue aficionado to shed some light on how to keep your scarlet locks looking good if you should opt for red trademark tresses–and, trend alert!–you def should!

A local go-to hue aficionado?! Lens-woman?! Scarlet locks?!

Is this why I can’t get a new writing job? Why don’t I just kill myself!

If anyone can write a worse paragraph about redheads, I will devote a post to your literary genius.

Tonight I can truthfully say that I’m sick of everything. Or rather, the same old everything.

I need something new to look at and fixate on.

I can’t take any more dumb idiots, dumb whores or dumb dummies. No more It girls or would-be It Girls. I need images and I need things to stimulate my imagination. I need things to hlep my brain work. I need things to hate but different things.

Here’s Martin Cohn, a boy who looks like a girl.

Here’s Gemma Banks, a girl who looks like a boy.

I realize that pictures of androgenous people are the only things I can stand to look at right now. I can’t figure out why, but I find them very relaxing.   Male models and homo’s. too. I’m deliberately using the word homo because a blog called Homo-something is about homo’s and the word “gay” now sounds condescending to me. If you’re a homo and you object, let me know.

Here’s another girl who looks like a boy.

See? Isn’t that more relaxing than looking at what some moron wore today? I found it at a blog with lots of nice images, whose author is either a boy or girl, I can’t tell from looking at him/her. You go, girl, or boy!

Oops, I found this there, too, so it’s not all androgeny there but also weirdness and some pervy stuff. That blog sent me to this one... where I liked this beautiful Asian-looking girl, or at least I assume it’s a girl.

There are some great images there and no one bothering you with their outfits or their Mom.

Okay, that’s it.   Who has some recommendations for me? Websites, books, music, anything to break the frozen sea within?

Okay, it’s time to get serious. After reading a new interview with Sea here, and then having a look at her “other” blog, I see there is something going on. Upon deliberating, I think I have cracked the code.

Sea of Shoes is actually code for SOS! It is a cri de coeur from Jane,   begging the world to deliver her from her demons.

I hear you, Jane! In the interview, she is asked to describe herself in 3 words. She answers: “Dirty old man.” Oh my! Elsewhere, in response to the question, “Tell me something most people wouldn’t know about you,” she says, “I’m a big sicko.”

OKAY, I GET IT. You’re a dark soul with fetishes aplenty, or you’re a lesbian. This is why your latest entry at your “other” blog is a naked woman displaying her anus.   It explains the emphasis on tits and ass. Instead of dropping hints, it might be better to just integrate your dark, lesbitious side into your everyday life and to feel okay with it.

Jane doesn’t want your comments but you can leave them here instead. I will go first:

Dear Sea, Don’t be ashamed of who you are. Just be ashamed of buying all those shoes. Love, SW

Not too long ago, I applied for a job at the Refinery 29 blog.   They offered me an interview but the job turned out to be in New York.     Reading the following post, I realize that I couldn’t write such awful prose   even with a gun to my head.   It is simply beyond my capability. Ready, set, go:

We’re no newbies to fake tattoos, though it’s safe to say that the glittery unicorns and branded stick-ons from the local bank we used to apply don’t really garner us the same cred as the ones shown on this season’s runway. Delicate bracelets and chains were drawn onto the models at SChanel, and Gaultier paired his spring line with lettered prison tats. Rodarte went for the full monty and Sharpie’d the models’ arms and necks in full Maori effect. Less permanent than really getting pricked, but still pretty badass, we have a feeling that a little hand-drawn ink will start making its way off the runway and onto your arms, chests, and legs.

Jesus, whew!

Maybe my ears are too sensitive, but this just seems aggressively bad in every way: it’s pretentious, hokey, cutesy and irritating.   Is it standard fashion writing, or is it setting a new standard?

Who wants to count the language crimes? I’ll start with the first sentence. “Garner”, “newbies” and “cred” are all unforgivable.   For extra credit, try making it even worse, if that’s possible!

They don’t know me and I don’t know them. I have never looked at the Satorialist or any other blog that shows people on the street. I don’t want to know about Twitter. But I do spend time looking at blogs, and writing this one.

I would like to pose a question to everyone who is reading this:

What do you want a blog to deliver?

I asked myself this question, more broadly: What am I seeking on the Internet?

I want to be distracted, informed, entertained, amused, enraged, or inspired. I guess I want that all the time, online or off. But looking at what someone wore today, or what they plan to wear tomorrow, is not working for me. I really don’t give a shit, just like no one should give a shit about what I’m wearing.

I love fashion but I don’t love to see people posing in their clothes. Call me crazy. I wish I could find more blogs that fascinate or stimulate some brain activity. I want some wit, some ideas, some raw emotion, some aggression (not aimed at me though, Russian Lady!) I want to see shoes, but not if I have to hear how Smitten you are by them!

Meanwhile, I love nothing more than to engage in conversation with my readers, friends and enemies.

What draws you here, and to other blogs?