I’m too old and sad to enjoy mocking death the way I used to. But Death Row trivia continues to fascinate me, even though it’s politically incorrect to express anything but outrage on the subject of the death penalty.

Photographer Henry Hargreaves has recreated the last meals requested by some notorious killers in a project called No Seconds. Looking at the photos, it’s hard not to form conclusions about each meal and the man who chose it. The meal above, for example, increased my disdain for John Wayne Gacy: “What a pig,” I thought.

Timothy McVeigh, on the other hand, limited himself to his favorite ice cream. Clearly, he was more focused and less self-indulgent.

Look at what Victor Feguer asked for. What a cunt. Or maybe he was being a smart-ass. I can’t decide. I ‘d like to have told him ‘No way, buddy. You’ll eat a pitted olive or nothing at all.’

My reactions probably say more about me than the meals say about the convicts. That’s why this is art.

Here’s more to think about:

In Louisiana, the prison warden traditionally joins the condemned prisoner for the last meal.

In September 2011, the state of Texas abolished all special last-meal requests after prisoner Lawrence Russell Brewer requested a huge last meal and didn’t eat any of it, saying he wasn’t hungry. His last-meal request was for two chicken-fried steaks with gravy; a triple-patty bacon cheeseburger; a cheese omelet with ground beef, tomatoes, onions, bell peppers, and jalapenos; a bowl of fried okra with ketchup; one pound of barbecued meat with half a loaf of white bread; three fajitas; a meat-lover’s pizza; one pint of Blue Bell Ice Cream; a slab of peanut-butter fudge with crushed peanuts; and three root beers. The abolition followed a complaint by Texas Senator John Whitmire, who called the meal “inappropriate.”  (Thanks Lawrence Russell Brewer, for ruining things for everybody else!)

You can read more about last meals here.  If I end up on Death Row, I plan to ask for a Fatburger with fat fries and a vanilla milkshake.

Feel free to place your order or rant about the death penalty.

I reported this news to my kid, who thought for a moment and said admiringly “He had good taste.” It’s the kind of meal a teenager wants, even when he’s in his room and not on Death Row.

Don’t feel too bad for Mr. Lynd. He admitted that after shooting his girlfriend and putting her in the trunk, he “heard her thumping around” and then opened the trunk to blast her in the head one more time.

R.I.P., William Lynd. At least you got your burgers!

On a lighter note, six years ago at Louisiana State Penitentiary in Angola, Leslie Martin was executed by lethal injection…. “Much himself even during his final moments, a sort of death row class clown, he told his lawyer ‘You’re fired,’ just after he received the fatal dose.”

I hope to go out like Mr. Martin, although I don’t like the sound of his last meal: crawfish stew, oatmeal cookies and chocolate milk. This is the type of thing we often talk about in my family. One member has already put in an order for egg rolls.