It’s November 2, and Mrs. Palin has failed to produce her medical records.   “We’ll let you know when we have something to say,” Palin spokeswoman Maria Comella said on Thursday. On Saturday, Comella had no comment when asked about it by ABC reporter Kate Snow.

Here are the top five reasons mentioned by bloggers who wonder what the records are hiding:

1) She had a tubal ligation procedure after 4th child
2) She has only given birth to four children
3) She has had an abortion
4) She has had plastic surgery
5) She has had an STD

But wait! WHAT IF MRS. PALIN IS REALLY A MAN!

Think about it. Loves to hunt and kill animals. Dresses like a drag queen (sorry, drag queens, I’m talking about a really style-challenged white-trash drag queen!) No maternal instincts. No breastfeeding. Overly aggressive. Lives with a submissive hunk.

Godammit dot com, that bitch is a fucking man. No wonder she can’t release those records! And no wonder so many men feel inexplicably drawn to her…..

PAP Smear members, what do we think?

We are very near the end of a long, excruciating road. We’ve laughed and cried together. Soon, we’ll know whether some of us have to move to Canada or Iceland. We may never know the meaning of life, but we know without a doubt that Trig isn’t Mrs. P’s baby. And also too, we will never be able to think about Valentino without cringing a little.