A few days ago, my friend R and I ventured into a Free People boutique, even though we’ve already agreed that their shit is much too expensive. We were both having a Fat Day, but we solved most of our other problems over lunch.

Free People is a shop and brand that I don’t quite understand, like Anthropologie. All the stuff seems retro and young, in a bad way. As we walked toward the sale rack in Free People, we noticed a little dwarf sitting outside the dressing rooms. Suddenly, two other dwarfs emerged from the rooms.

The waiting dwarf scrutinized the outfits modeled on the other two, and said to one of them “It’s cute, I think you should get it.” The girl was wearing some kind of bright little shirt that reached her feet. She looked skeptical.

R and I exchanged excited glances once we were out of sight. We left the shop and immediately expressed out pleasure in seeeing the midgets, even though they were actually dwarfs. We wondered what made them shop at Free People, and whether it was known as being midget-friendly. We also wondered how you could tell if something looked “cute,” since whatever it was would always be misproportioned.

So basically, we allowed ourselves to be mean and insensitive. We figured we could get away with it, since in our everyday lives both of us try hard to do the right thing.

Tonight, I had an uncontrollable urge to buy harem pants, which has been the farthest thing from my mind from the moment I first saw harem pants. But suddenly, now that they’ve largely disappeared from the online shopping sites, I wanted some. My Google search took me to Free People, where I ordered a pair of hideous black rayon harem pants on sale.

The dwarfs are happy now, I can feel it. When the harem pants arrive, I will be reminded of my bad character. I will keep them as a reminder of Karma, and I might even wear them so that Little People and big people too can have a laugh at my expense (which came to nearly $60 after shipping and tax.)