Here are Erin Wasson and a girl carrying either an elephant trunk or a dead emu. Whatever.

They were celebrating the Los Angeles opening of a Vanessa Bruno boutique, where, according to Refinery 29,   “all the L.A. lasses had us scrambling to snap their insouciant style.”

Stylist Simon Rasmussen showed his first fashion collection at Copenhagen Fashion Week and it looks like those homelessistas are again the muse du jour.

Is it already passe? Has Erin Wasson ruined it before it even got a chance to catch on? Or is it a dumbed down retread of Fruits?

I’m lost here. I’m not even entirely over the leather shorts. Autumn is coming and I don’t know whether to wear nude, military, retro, dead animals, clog boots, ponchos, pantsuits, or “Victorian   Biker” (a new term I heard for the first time today and cannot help but promote (i.e. ridicule.)

On the bright side, today my husband curated me a long black cashmere overcoat from our neighborhood thrift shop and I will be wearing it asap. I will call it Geriatric Goth but it will also be kind of Hasidic Swashbuckler. You’ll see, after I replace the missing button.

Listen, I don’t know who “Cyril Style” is either, but he’s a complete cunt. In describing a series of photos by Julia Chesky called “The Original Hipster,” featuring a homeless guy in New York, Cyril notes:

Personally I have always found the homeless to be a great source of inspiration and totally agreed with Julia’s title “The Original Hipster”.

A great source of inspiration?!? Who the fuck does he think he is? Erin Wasson?

Cunt.

***UPDATE:   Cyril is a double cunt for modifying his statement with the words “specific details about” after I posted this.   I copied and pasted his statement last night.   I would never edit a quote just to serve my purposes.   Cunt ².

I plan to avoid any look devised by Alexander Wang, including this disturbing boot. Each time I see it, I feel upset. It looks like a shoe giving birth to another shoe, and that’s not something I want to dwell upon. Or perhaps it’s a bit like a parasitic twin, a subject I actually enjoy but not as portrayed by this shoe.

I will be skipping the long side braid, too. Anyone I come across who has a long braid falling over one shoulder will be instantly assessed as a tragic fashion victim. If you’ve been wearing your hair this way for years, fine. Just carry a dated photo with you.

Alexander Wang says two things to me: Erin Wasson and Rumi. I cannot extract him from these muses or whatever they are. He’s dead to me.

Another trend to avoid is the New Military Look. Not the old Military Look that features the horrible marching band jacket a la Michael Jackson. The NEW Military Look is all about army surplus-looking stuff in olive drab or khaki. How many times must we resort to stupid uniforms? Just wait until you can’t find skinnies* (*sorry!) because they’ve been replaced by cargo pants.

Watch out for the stylized Cat-eye Sunglasses, once again instigated by Alexander Wang and coveted by all the blogger girls. The correct response to a picture of the $325 AW version is   “love.” Just the one word. Of course you want a pair, but try to resist. Sure all the kids   are doing it, but if Jimmy said to jump off a cliff, would you do that too?

Tribal, digital prints, clogs, what other important trends am I missing? The only one that works for me is Leather, because In Leather is Truth. (Something Something Veritas.)

A shoe that lives up to its name. Wrong on so many levels.

And yet somehow I feel that Erin Wasson would love them.They might even be worse than the Gladiator Converse. Both signal the end of civilization.

Neiman Marcus, $495

Here is Erin Wasson enjoying the triumph of her awful fashion show. How can you even calculate the horror? Begin with the hat, I guess, and work your way down.

These sweatpants are like a little piece of Erin Wasson….a soupcon of Erin Wasson. They simply offend on every level. The exciting thing about them is that they’re unflattering from every view. $75 at Revolve.

Imelda Matt turned me on to Ellery, one of Australia’s fantastic young designers whose footwear also gives me a blowjob .   Look at the sleeves on this denim jacket, available for pre-order at My-Catwalk.   I know there’s a hint of Erin Wasson via Alexander Wang, but we can’t let Erin ruin everything. I think this jacket can stand on its merits, that’s how much I love the coppery chain sleeves.

Click on this picture to see the chain sleeves on this black top by Ellery, and take a look at the shoes too. Are you hard yet?!?!?

Ooh, here is our friend Erin at a party the other night at a shop in L.A. I love the exposed bra! I’ll bet she picked up this styling tip from a Homeless Woman! Still, she makes it her own. She brings it, even.

Does anyone know what the tattoo says?? I can’t rest until I know.

Also, Erin will be selling off her closet tomorrow at her boyfriend’s shop on Main St. in Venice. She only wants to wear her own designs from now on.   If I had a stronger constitution, I’d stake it out and take photos.

Now that that cunt Erin is copying me in the Shop My Closet department, I’ve been inspired to SLASH MY PRICES! Come on down to Sister Wolf’s Closet   by clicking on the link on the right-hand column. More good stuff is coming, too!

*credit for Wassonery goes to crocodilian. (and Amy Winehouse)

While dutifully checking out the monotonous stream of new arrivals at Revolve, I was drawn to the price of these pants: $429. What the hell? Then I saw the name of the designer, Kimberly Ovitz.

If you live in L.A., you know that Mike Ovitz is a legendary Hollywood Bigshot who blamed his ultimate downfall on Hollywood’s “gay mafia.” He was a notorious bully and tyrant when he ran CAA.

Now, his daughter Kimberly has produced a “lifestyle collection for women…”   “which embodies Ovitz’s personal style, and reflections of the minimalist art and design she was exposed to while growing up in Los Angeles. The concept of her first collection is “Ladies at the country house having a punk party and raiding the stable”.

Good for you, Kimberly. I’m sure you worked very hard to launch your new line of minimalist clothing, and I know that your trip to France after dropping out of Parsons to “apprentice” at Chanel had nothing whatsoever to do with your dad.

Please enjoy Kimberly’s biography here at her company website. It is a treasure trove of poor syntax and misspelling.

Somehow I see a meeting of the minds, so to speak, between Kimberly Ovitz and Erin “Homeless” Wasson. I like to imagine them snorting a few lines and then talking about how sick the new Balenciaga boots are.

If they haven’t met, I want to hook them up! I am an inveterate matchmaker, ask anyone. In fact, when my matches haven’t been disastrous, they have worked out very nicely.