Poor Naomi Wolf. Once, she was a respected feminist thinker, her book The Beauty Myth staking a place in the second wave feminist pantheon. She was never a radical but she was a person to take seriously. Her recent support of Julian Assange against his female adversaries who accused him of rape was a weird moment, incurring the wrath of many of her peers. I felt sorry for her. But not as sorry as I feel for her now that she’s written a ridiculous love letter to her vagina. Okay, not a love letter; she calls it a biography.

Given the powers she has attributed to her vagina, it should have insisted on writing an autobiography. Maybe the chore of writing is beneath her vagina. It is too exalted, what with being the repository of  her strength, her wellbeing, her life-force and her very soul. Everything necessary for an effective life of a women can be found, not to mention celebrated and worshiped, right there in her vagina!

Naomi Wolf is like a schoolgirl with her first crush, according to reviews of her book, and her crush is her vagina. She seeks affirmation from a vagina guru with  a funny name, who gazes into her eyes and says something like “I see you, I honor you, and I honor your vagina.” But he calls it a yoni, recognizing  its Eastern, mystical essence. Then he calls it a “Goddess.”

FINALLY! A word I can use to describe my female area! I informed my husband that we would now refer to my Goddess as my Goddess. He is on board.

I’m sure Naomi had more than money in mind, ahem, when she came up with the title for her book But my clitoris would like to take issue with her, even though it’s in no mood to write a whole book.  I believe that the clitoris is the one to speak to, the one to revere, the CEO, as it were. Ignore the clitoris and you end up looking for gurus who have funny names and have to gaze into your eyes.

While we wrestle with our shame over poor Naomi’s book, lets keep things in perspective by considering Myrtle Corbin.

Born in 1868, Myrtle married and, possessing two vaginas, she apparently produced 5 children using both sets of organs.  Now what, Naomi?

God, I’m such a know-nothing. First I find out about “slut shaming” long after all the other sluts, and now I see there’s a movement for Vulva Diversity.

An organization called New View, whose worthy mission is to “challenge the medicalization of sex,” also launched a campaign in 2009 to celebrate genital diversity, including an arts and crafts exhibit and conference.

Here’s the deal:

“Popular knowledge about women’s vulvas comes disproportionately from commercial sources such as magazines, pornography, and on-line surgery sites that are likely to digitally alter or airbrush genital images or include only selected models. There are very very few books that feature a range of real genital photographs.

The result of this distortion and silence is widespread ignorance and genital shame which harms women and girls and results in vulnerability to ads and tv shows promoting cosmetic genital surgery.”

Shit.

Obviously, I am against cosmetic genital surgery, since I’m not insane. What a   terrible and tragic pursuit! The whole idea that there is some norm of beauty in genitalia that would induce women to willingly mutilate themselves is beyond repugnant.

However. I now realize the vast range of Vulva Diversity and I am genuinely shaken. I had no idea! Did I NEED to have an idea, though? I’m not a lesbian, so I wasn’t likely to be confronted with this much Vulva Diversity. I clicked on a “Labiaplasty” site recommended by New View and nearly fainted.

What a big baby I am! I told my husband about this before-and-after gallery and he asked me to refrain from speaking about it. He may be a big baby, too.

I’m going to give you a chance to look or not look. Want to look? Okay, click here, if you’re sure you want to.

I hope it’s safe to note that I personally am in the After category, but I see how you could feel concerned if you were in the Before category. You would wonder why your own Look was not represented in art or photos.   You might feel insecure, like the first time I saw a belly button with a big knot-thingie and wondered why mine looked so empty.

Jesus.   Does any9one have any thoughts on Vulva Diversity that are less infantile and more useful than my own?