Poor Naomi Wolf. Once, she was a respected feminist thinker, her book The Beauty Myth staking a place in the second wave feminist pantheon. She was never a radical but she was a person to take seriously. Her recent support of Julian Assange against his female adversaries who accused him of rape was a weird moment, incurring the wrath of many of her peers. I felt sorry for her. But not as sorry as I feel for her now that she’s written a ridiculous love letter to her vagina. Okay, not a love letter; she calls it a biography.

Given the powers she has attributed to her vagina, it should have insisted on writing an autobiography. Maybe the chore of writing is beneath her vagina. It is too exalted, what with being the repository of  her strength, her wellbeing, her life-force and her very soul. Everything necessary for an effective life of a women can be found, not to mention celebrated and worshiped, right there in her vagina!

Naomi Wolf is like a schoolgirl with her first crush, according to reviews of her book, and her crush is her vagina. She seeks affirmation from a vagina guru with  a funny name, who gazes into her eyes and says something like “I see you, I honor you, and I honor your vagina.” But he calls it a yoni, recognizing  its Eastern, mystical essence. Then he calls it a “Goddess.”

FINALLY! A word I can use to describe my female area! I informed my husband that we would now refer to my Goddess as my Goddess. He is on board.

I’m sure Naomi had more than money in mind, ahem, when she came up with the title for her book But my clitoris would like to take issue with her, even though it’s in no mood to write a whole book.  I believe that the clitoris is the one to speak to, the one to revere, the CEO, as it were. Ignore the clitoris and you end up looking for gurus who have funny names and have to gaze into your eyes.

While we wrestle with our shame over poor Naomi’s book, lets keep things in perspective by considering Myrtle Corbin.

Born in 1868, Myrtle married and, possessing two vaginas, she apparently produced 5 children using both sets of organs.  Now what, Naomi?