Last night I heard for the first time that Jackie’s pink hat is missing: No one knows what happened to it after all these years.

This is just mind-boggling, isn’t it? If anything in this world is iconic, it’s that pillbox hat. How can it be missing?! Jackie’s maid put the suit in a plastic bag but she doesn’t know about the hat.

If they managed to keep this secret for 50 years, they fucking well know about the conspiracy/conspiracies, too.

I genuinely feel upset about the hat. I am surprised but less upset to learn that the pink suit is not Chanel, but rather an exact copy of a Chanel suit, made in New York. Good for Jackie. Coco Chanel consorted with too many Nazi’s. Perhaps Jackie knew this subconsciously.

Watching the old news footage, I can’t help but marvel at Jackie’s immense grace and dignity. No wonder our fascination with her is so enduring.

But the missing hat reminded me of a dream I had a few years ago, that for some reason I had in my possession a hatbox with Jackie’s head in it. I’m pretty sure the hat was there too. I remembered being appalled by this horrible dream imagery, and yet kind of proud of it’s originality.

Now I feel guilty, in keeping with my pervading sense that everything, everything, is my fault.

I think it’s time for me to trademark this feature, that’s how much I like it.  Remember the last time we played?

My first reaction to this guy was YES! I might have even made some kind of noise. My brother-in-law used to groan aloud at the sight of his favorite female news anchor, and it drove my sister crazy. I have to find out if he still does it.

Anyway, this is my type of man to ogle: young, androgynous, provocative. But on the other hand, guys who wear hats are pretentious and douchey. I’m not crazy about little (or big) beards, either.

And yet.

What is your vote?

I’ve had a thing for antlers for a few years, and I see I’m not alone. Antlers seem to be pretty chic all of a sudden, and even though I hate it when the whole world has to copy me, I want the antlers to keep on coming!   This deer head is at Vivre.com, and it would make a nice Mother’s Day gift for me. Click on it to see its full glory.

This antler hat is at Patricia Field Online, and speaks for itself.

Then there is this unforgettable image, my original mySpace photo!

It was the armpits that attracted all my “friends” of course, not the antlers. Still, antlers are the way to go. If you come across any antler items that make you think “Sister Wolf!” please give me a shout.

Today, Queen Marie discussed her hatred of Keira Knightley and I was excited to find that we share this bias. Shared biases are as pleasurable as shared enthusiasms….sometimes more.

To be fair to Queen Marie, I don’t think she used the word “hate.” Most people save this word for special occasions but not Sister Wolf. Ma haine dure, remember?

So because I’m a little tired and braindead, I thought I would offer up a little explosion of hate for the weekend. Let’s call it a Festival of Hate. Okay, here we go.

1. Keira Knightly

2. Kate Hudson

3. Jessica Simpson

4. John McCain

5. Chloe Sevigny

6. Lou Dobbs

7. Sarah Silverman

8. Blake Incarcerated

9. Dr. Phil

10. Mischa Barton

11. Maroon 5

12. Christy Turlington

13. Eric Clapton

14. Eva Longoria

15. Jude Law

This is just a fraction of the people I hate, and I didn’t include my favorites like Selma Blair or Robin Williams.   I also hate girls who wear hats like that awful girl is wearing in the photo.

Nominations for a new list?