Hahahahahahaha!

“This Brunello Cucinelli boot takes a venerable biker style on a flight of fancy. The ostrich feather flourish, however, easily detaches for versatility.”

Neiman Marcus, $1,435.00

Some eye doctors are against this procedure on the grounds that it is risky, impermanent, and long-term affects are not known. But what the hell, looking youthful is critical in today’s competitive environment. Don’t lose that promotion or hot date because of dingy eyes!

Find out more at this website where you can watch a video of the procedure. ( I can’t but maybe you’re less squeamish.)

It’s good to know that the march toward unburdening ourselves of our original faces is moving forward at a brisk pace.

Who’s up for it?

*UPDATE* You can now order you PAP Smear shirts and buttons here!

*UPDATE II* Note the new improved logo

People, we can thank our good friends Dr. Larue and Honeypants for this wonderful logo. Feel free to copy it and use it on all your official PAP Smear correspondence.

Now that we are up and running, let the office manager take the minutes for this meeting. Or whatever, don’t bother, I hate those things. Anyway, while Penisgate is still number one (no pun intended) on our agenda, I would like to go back and revisit Babygate.

Here is an intriguing group of photos which support the notion that Mrs. Palin is not Trigger’s real mommy. I know, I know, you feel kind of sheepish for ever buying into that ‘rumor,’ but I ask you to think again.

Remember all the times you watched Bush on TV and said “This can’t really be happening!” Or, remember how you learned in that documentary about Henry Kissinger that he ordered the bombing of Cambodia at the behest of Pepsi Cola? Stuff happens that our minds want to reject. Like the fact that Mrs. Palin believes in the End of Times, when all hell will break loose, literally?

Now that we have filled our executive and staff positions, we need to roll out our membership drive. Ideas?

We need to disseminate our facts and rumors starting now! There is no time to waste. Make sure to remind everyone you come in contact with that Mrs. Palin is a lying opportunist who can’t even sell a plane on eBay and wants to destroy the Alaskan wilderness, since she’s already had her fun killing things there.

Someone needs to get Patrick a stick, and we are waiting for Tobilynne to make her report. I can’t keep track of this shit, people, I am 55 years old and losing my memory at the speed of light. FIGHT WITH ME, as our own annemarie so eloquently urged us in a battle cry she borrowed from Grandpa!

Fight for freedom to learn about sex! Fight for the wolves and polar bears! Fight for the non-believers who don’t want to have to go to hell on Mrs. Palin’s watch! Fight for sanity! Fight that crazy bitch with all you’ve got, and never let it be said that you sat around and fiddled while an old Grandpa and a mean Church Lady took over the free world!