Customer  review:

“I loove this shoe! I purchased it for my bday and wore it with vintage ripped shorts and a collared, quarter-length, oversized, pale yellow shirt and it BANGED!! However, I must add that this shoe is very versatile and can be dressed up or down. It gives every outfit a very polished, futuristic look! Worth every penny :):

(Solestruck, $159)

Questions?

Hope is a thing with feathers*….and yet this new style by Jeffrey Campbell evokes a different concept. My first thought was of something throwing up on itself.

Adding a dash of perversity, they call this color “purple” when it doesn’t take a drag queen to know it is pink.

$209, but I’m warning you, it runs narrow.

*

This typically ugly “hiker wedge bootie” by Jeffrey Campbell is called Dammit. I have to wonder if it’s their way of rewarding me for tirelessly spreading the joy of the Jeffrey Campbell aesthetic around the world.

However! If   this piece of shit is a tribute to Sister Wolf, I reject it, with all due appreciation.

They can do much, much better, as we know all too well. For example:

Dammit is right! It’s like they didn’t even try!

Fuckers.

I just clicked on “women” at Need Supply and this gave me a nasty shock. I was expecting some innocent pictures of the favored Need Supply model, with the tragic doodle-pad tattoos, wearing some crappy shorts or something, then WHAM!

Jeffrey Campbell is not safe for older people with heart problems. Or people with eyes.

Represent Fringe Platform, $175

At last we can go hiking with the assurance of a twisted ankle. Thanks Jeff!

Here is the newest “Lita” by Jeffrey “Laughing his ass off” Campbell.

The Exclusive Black Shag. At Karmaloop.   (Nickie Frye found them)

Jane, before you say no, hear me out. These shoes would show that you are a Man of the People, you know, like Evita! You could revel in how ironically awful they are, while scratching your itch to spend money and totter around hoping not to fall.

I think the possibilities are endless with these shoes.

Besides scaring the shit out of people, you could also _____________________.

*Who can finish this sentence?? Feel free to use “voluminous.”

Here is another offering from the cynical monster known as Jeffrey Campbell.   Each time he comes out with one of these, he is slapping his knee and laughing. He wants to see how far he can push today’s brainwashed consumerettes.

This “shoe” is special “thanks to a super cool removable ankle cuff.”   I can’t imagine fucking around with the ankle cuff and I can’t even think about it. No no no to everything about this contemptible shoe.

Now. Some of you out there are fed up with my Hideous Shoe posts. You want me to get serious, to write about stuff that’s interesting and thought provoking.

But others out there are going “Oh god, all she does is whine about her personal misery! Where is the fun stuff?”

Do I need two blogs, one for trivial mockery of fashion trends and pathetic fame-whore bloggers, and another to air my feelings of despair and hopelessness? Or should I give up blogging altogether, as a waste of time and energy? Or should I just kill myself or pray for brain cancer?

I don’t know what direction to take. I really truly don’t know if I’m trying to express myself or avoid myself.   I’m looking for considered opinions, not some bullshit about some other bullshit.