Before you pass judgment on the person who would spend $1,980 on a pair of sandals, let me explain:

These python Alaia sandals are actually designed for the fashion-savvy leper, who traditionally must carry a clapper and bell to warn of his/her approach.

Now, thanks to the genius of this sandal, festooned as it is with bells, every leper can jingle a merry tune at special events like mealtime and bandage changing.