I have already confessed to being at a loss for words to adequately describe the abomination that is Donald Trump. But recently, one thing I keep thinking after watching the news is how utterly without redeeming features he is. My default analogy is that at least Hitler loved dogs. And music. And had some actual talent as a painter.

I was thinking of this yesterday while walking my dog (shout out to Hitler!) and started to mentally review the dictators I’m most familiar with, to compare them to Trump. Qaddafi came to mind first, and he had the redeeming feature of great style. He’s one up on Trump right there!

So let’s review historic dictators to see if any are as worthless as Donald Trump.

Stalin excelled in seminary school and earned a scholarship to Tiflis Theological Seminary in 1894. Good job, Stalin! Your dad didn’t have to pay to get you accepted!

Castro went to law school and was passionate about social justice.

Saddam Hussein also went to law school on his own merits and “did much to modernize Iraq’s infrastructure, industry and health-care system, and raised social services, education and farming subsidies to levels unparalleled in other Arab countries in the region.” Well done, Saddam!

Kim Jong-un was educated in Switzerland and after his father’s death, implemented some economic and agricultural reforms. Not bad, Kim Jong-un!

Mussolini was a journalist who studied Kant, Hegel and Nietzsche. (Trump = Covfefe)

Mobutu Sese Seko, with his trademark leopard-skin cap and carved wooden staff, was a a true style icon, and I’m still looking for a facsimile of that hat.

Pol Pot played the violin and was fluent in French.

Augusto Pinochet taught classes in military geography and geopolitics and was the editor of a magazine, Cien Águilas (‘One Hundred Eagles’).

François Duvalier aka Papa Doc was a physician, and was active in a United States–sponsored campaign to control the spread of contagious tropical diseases, helping the poor to fight typhus, yaws, and malaria. He was also a master of Haitian Vodou! Who among us doesn’t love Haitian Vodou?

I could go on, but you see my point here. That bastard Donald Trump is the most patently worthless human being in the history of the world.  Why did god make him? I heard a guy on TV noting Trump’s “incandescent stupidity and malevolence.” Incandescent gave me a little thrill. If only I could be as elegant in expressing my contempt!

All I can do is take comfort in his notable hair-loss and commensurate panic as I try not to think of him winning the next presidential election. If that comes to pass, there won’t be enough cyanide capsules in the world to put us out of our misery.

Back in October, I had a first-hand experience of conditions at a Los Angeles nursing home. I was stunned by the blatant inhumanity: I don’t know what else to call it. How can this shit go on? How can people live with themselves after consigning a loved one to such misery and neglect?

Hearing about a 98 year old woman who killed a 100 year old roommate, my first reaction was to laugh. I guess it’s still funny on some level, but I’ve lost the thread of whatever black comedy I perceived there. Now that I’ve learned the circumstances, I am furious beyond words. It’s an obvious case of nursing home negligence, but the nursing home won’t be held responsible and for the administrators and stockholders, it will be business as usual.

Laura Lundquist strangled her roommate, Elizabeth Barrow, at the Brandon Woods nursing home in New Bedford, MA, after Barrow’s son made repeated complaints about Lundquist on his mother’s behalf. Lundquist believed that Barrows was “taking over her room,” and had already made threats to the older roommate as well as an attempt to block her from leaving her bed.

Guess what? When you complain about anything in a nursing home, NOTHING HAPPENS! People might nod as though they are listening, but nothing will happen. The staff is not there to provide care. They are there to earn a low wage and to bitch to each other about how annoying their duties are. The patients are discussed by their room and bed number. “24B needs service” announced on the intercom will not bring anyone to 24B’s room, not until some CNA is good and ready to walk her ass down the hall.

Lundquist has a lawyer who will argue that she has dementia. Of course she does! She’s 98 years old and rotting in a fucking nursing home! I don’t think Lundquist can be held responsible. But I’d like to see the administrators of Brandon Woods be restrained in their own nursing home for the next several years, subjected to bedsores and the ravings of mentally ill roommates.

The CEO of Brandon Woods, Scott Picone, says said the home was “deeply saddened by this tragic event, and our thoughts and prayers go out to both families.” He declined to comment further. But in another statement, the home said the roommates acted like sisters, walked and ate lunch together daily and said, “Goodnight, I love you,” to each other every night.

Here’s a story for you:   Max’s last roommate at Kindred Hospital was a man named Willie. He is an elderly black man who has cancer and may have also had a stroke. At the time he arrived, he was unable to talk. He had a tracheotomy and had some plastic thing in his mouth. He could gesture with his hands though and he had a legal pad on his table where he could write to communicate.   Just before Max was discharged, I saw that Willie had written “Why do they handle me like a terrorist??” Why indeed.

The next day, I paused outside the room and said to a nurse who had just exited: “Willie is such a sweet guy.” She replied: “Yes, he is. Doesn’t talk much, though.”

In the Q & A section of the Brandon Woods website,   one is assured that: “Music, physical fitness, outings, and laughter are the key ingredients to enabling residents to enjoy their environment.”

Ha! Jesus. Off with their fucking heads.

I am SO HAPPY to add my voice to the din of Shepard Fairey haters, since I have hated him from the word Obey. Obey yourself, motherfucker, I always think when I see his stupid Obey products, which now include every possible type of garment and accessory for idiots who like his ‘brand.’

Shepard Fairey designed the Obama poster that is now going to the Smithsonian, but he copied it from a photo taken by AP photographer Manny Garcia (see photo, above left.) The AP is suing Fairey for copyright infringement, and now Fairey is counter-suing the AP, claiming that their lawsuit takes a position that is “a suppression of an artist’s freedom of expression.”

All of Mr. Fairey’s work thus far is copied from something else, which some call plagiarism. Some disagree.   What is hard to argue with is the statement of James Danziger, whose gallery is selling limited prints of Garcia’s photo, signed by Mr. Garcia: “There’s an implication that defining yourself as an ‘artist’ as opposed to a ‘photographer’ makes you more important and gives you a special privilege. It also implies that a straightforward photograph is of lesser significance or value than a painting or conceptual work of art.”

For me, the moral of this story is, Don’t Obey Anyone, least of all punkass phonies who pretend to be guerrilla artists.

But I wonder about these readers. Apart from my personal friends, is there a readership out there? I’m beginning to see that the blogs I go to most are the ones that deliver a predictable element: either fashion, gossip, politics, or the arts. I’m wondering if anyone wants to return to a blog that might be focused on crime, grammar, fashion, or Horrible Stuff, with only a consistent point of view to connect the subjects.

I’m disappointed that I don’t have millions of readers who leave enthusiastic comments like I see on the fashion blogs. Thirty people will comment on a blogger’s new skirt, for example. I’m lucky if I get one comment from some idiot who defends Kimora Lee Simmons, months after I’ve made fun of her.

So in essence (and here I’m getting to use the phrase “in essence,” which I really like), I feel that my dream of being offered a lucrative book deal or a devoted following of brilliant eccentrics is not going to come to pass. I’m annoyed but maybe I can turn this into a positive experience by deliberately addressing myself to the one or two people who stumble into my cyberpath.

Hi, you two! What’s new? Anything good or bad to report? Did you see the Jimi Hendrix sex-tape? Aren’t you sick of that Reverend Wright? What a fucking egotistical maniac, right? Oh god, and what about Rumer Willis being chosen as one of People Magazine’s most beautiful people? Hahahaha!

Also, when I went to the dentist today I found out that I have six cavities, yes, 6. But at least my dental hygienist made me laugh by talking shit about the other hygienist, who apparently wears a wig.

Okay then. Leave a comment about my skirt!   Just kidding. xxoo.