I don’t know why a gap between the front teeth is so endearing, but I assume it’s something to do with evoking babies. I can’t resist a gap-toothed smile.   It’s only fair that Johnny Depp got the gappest-toothed woman in the world.

My BFF has a gap, and I’d ask my dentist to give me one if I thought he’d cooperate.

Is Brigitte Bardot the modern prototype, or was there someone before her?? (The Wife of Bath doesn’t count.)

Another Saturday at Nordstrom, and look! It’s Faith, the Hot Nordstrom Girl! I was so happy to see her that I got the BFF to take some pictures.

Faith has an internship with a hot L.A. designer but for now, she is still at Nordstrom. You can’t see from this picture, but she was wearing the leopard print wedge clodhoppers by Jeffrey Campbell, which I correctly identified without being solicited to do so.

If I could wake up tomorrow and be twenty, I’d get a hairdo like Faith’s. If I did it now, my BFF was quick to point out, I’d just look like I had cancer.

Here, I’m wearing:   H&M jacket, Rag and Bone trousers, t-shirt from my t-shirt drawer, and tiger claw earring (ha ha for you, Shelly!)   If you want to gush about how awesome I look, please call me “Judy.” Thanks. xo

We moved on from Faith to the lingerie department, where my BFF hesitated to buy some racy stockings until I screamed   “MEN LOVE THESE!” which drew the attention of a grey-haired shopper nearby.

The BFF bought some other items, including a pair of knickers by Elle MacPherson, even though she couldn’t find the matching bra. If you knew my BFF, you’d know how unthinkable this is. She will never consider buying lingerie unless it’s a matching set. I was amazed. She explained that she could wear the knickers with a dress that didn’t require a bra underneath. Aha!

Personally, I don’t give a shit if my undergarments are a matching set. Black goes with everything; white is bad. Those are my only rules for lingerie. But I’m so nice that I spent at least half an hour online to track down the matching Elle MacPherson bra and here it is:

I may be an awful person, but I’m a really good friend.

It’s on! Cunt of the Week  will be a new feature, and you can nominate a candidate by writing to me at sisterwolf666@gmail.com.

Sting set the bar pretty high, but let’s face it, he’s not the only cunt around. Years ago, in the office where I worked with my BFF, we honored our Cunts of the Week    by putting their picture on a nice gold ribbon we hung on the wall. It’s a lovely tradition that I will always cherish.

Here is the only criterion for nominations: The person has to have been a cunt during a given week, NOT just in general and NOT because of some behavior six months ago.

At the end of the year, we can vote for the prestigious Cunt of the Year , and of course there will be a Lifetime Achievement Award too. (Madonna, I’m thinking of you here….)