I am truly blessed in the sister department. One of my sisters who lives in a Scandinavian country and who I will call “Clinique,” posted this on facebook:

[My daughter’s school-class is taking a trip to Poland and] will be visiting Auschwitz concentration camps. It should be an amazing, informative, and emotional trip.

I can’t even describe my reaction to this.

But I’ll focus on the word usage. When she writes ‘Auschwitz concentration camps’ does she mean, as opposed to the Auschwitz Bar and Grill or the Auschwitz Shopping Center?

Meanwhile,Tennis just sent a list of her services to the trust, which included a charge of $600 to prepare six checks.

It’s about time that cunt resigned. I can’t believe he’ll get immunity.

AS IF!

This has got to be the most outrageous damage-control move in the history of publicists. Imagine being at the meeting where this story was hatched.

“Okay, we’ve got to change the narrative about Sandra, asap! The Nazi stories are killing us!”

“Yeah, this really sucks. If we don’t move quickly, Sandy will be strapped forever with the Cheating Nazi Husband image and that’s gonna sink her in the end. People are already saying that she must have known about Jesse.”

“Shit.”

“Wait! I have an idea.”

“Fire away!”

“Well, it’s kind of crazy, but it just might work. Let’s say that Sandra has an adopted baby…”

“Naw, people will smell spin-control if she adopts now.”

“Right. But let’s say SHE ALREADY HAS AN ADOPTED BABY! She’s been keeping it secret, though.”

“But why would she do that?”

“Oh, who cares. Just hear me out. Not only a baby, but a BLACK BABY!”

“Jesus.”

“Listen, think about it! This will change the Sandra Bullock narrative overnight! No one will give a shit about the Nazi husband and the strippers.”

“Oh man,   it’s a no brainer! Genius! Call Sandy and then get someone to go track down a baby and make sure it’s black.”

“Haiti?”

“Too slow. Go local.”

A few days ago, I was upset to learn that the fashion line Hugo Boss had designed and manufactured Nazi Uniforms during WWII. Just when I had become a fan of Hugo Boss! Shit. I went into a Hugo Boss store in San Francisco and loved the classic but feminine suits and dresses. Never mind, I’ll get over it, there must be tons of designers out there who weren’t Nazi collaborators.

And speaking of Nazi collaborators, since Coco Chanel was a big ass-kisser to Hitler and a Nazi enthusiast in general, I’m going to stop coveting Chanel. Chanel has only brought me misery, nearly getting me kicked off eBay for trying to sell genuine Chanel jewelry, and then foisting upon me a $1,400 handbag that had to be repaired every six months. Look, here it is!