It’s as if all life has stopped, except for a throbbing, metastatic dread of Sarah Palin. All the TV pundints are blabbing about her, or blabbing about how much blabbing there is. She hasn’t granted interviews thus far because Grandpa’s people want to see some “deference” toward her. In other words, she’s a woman when we say she is, but otherwise it’s sexist to notice it.

All I can bear to add tonight is that according to the Anchorage Daily News, Mrs. P “cited family considerations in deciding not to try for the US Senate. ‘How can I be the team mom if I was a US Senator?’ Mrs. P asked in 2004.

How indeed? I for one would rather see her honor her commitment as team mom. Or even Trigger’s mom.

I need her to go away and stop scaring everyone! She’s like Cruella DeVille with her lust for dead animals. She’s Nurse Ratched: She’ll fix you even if you don’t wanna get fixed. She’s Elena Ceausescu, who forbade abortions and birth control in Romania until its orphanages were overflowing with unwanted and deformed babies. She is everything that terrifies me about women with big hair who talk about Jesus.

I want to think about shoes! I want to decide whether I should get the red or the silver ones at Yoox.com!

In fact, I’m so upset that I’m just getting the silver ones. Fuck it.

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