I had mixed feelings when I came upon this new item at Shopbop: The Tavi Tunic, modeled here by Starving Girl, doesn’t even look like a tunic but who am I to say what a tunic is.

What does it mean when a tunic that isn’t even a tunic is called “Tavi?” Among my reactions was the thought, WHERE ARE THE FUCKING SISTER WOLF LEATHER SHORTS?!?

I’ve lost all interest in Tavi The Blogger except as a sign of cultural decline. I see she is speaking somewhere about Gen Y for $500-$1,000 per ticket. I didn’t even know there was a Generation Y, that’s how lame I am.

Why don’t we just give up and let the teenagers run everything! We can sit back and watch them cycle through all the fashions and pop culture of the last 60 years. Right now they’re on Punk, or maybe Hippies. Let them worship the music and films of bygone eras, let them say Um all the time, let them sext each other all day long.

All I want is to lay on my gigantic new Sears Pillow-top Mattress and try to forget everything I saw and read online today, including all sex scandals, congressional hearings and the Tavi Tunic.