I was thrilled to receive this email today, and considered it a lucky omen of some kind to be called “Lard-Desha.” Isn’t it wonderful? I’m hoping it’s not some derivation of “Lard Ass,” which would confirm my worst fears about my body.

Just today, I tried on some jeans and asked my friend if it gave me a flattering butt. I also grilled the sales assistant on Levis’ new coded jeans. “Slight curve” means a boyish shape, while “Supreme curve” means enormous hips. I think they should make an even “curvier” model and call it Lard-Desha.

What image does Lard-Desha evoke for you? A belly-dancer? A check-out girl at Target wearing huge name-plate earrings? Or this:

Maybe one day Kardashian will become a descriptive word like “gargantuan.”   Or perhaps Kim would like to change her name to Lard-Desha!

Too bad, Kim. Lard-Desha is taken now and I’m not giving it up.

In an article she wrote about her beloved dad, Chuck Heath, Mrs. Palin wrote:

“Mr. Heath is grandpa to 12 fortunate young Alaskans, having an especially unique bond with his autistic eight-year-old grandson. From the first born, Track, on down, to Bristol, Willow, Piper lndi, McKinley, Happy, Karcher, Lauden, Payton, Keir, Heath and Tico.”

Hahahaha!   Where’s Donner and Blitzen?!

via Palingates

I have barely come down from the high of Obama’s acceptance speech, only to learn that McCain’s choice for Vice President is a busty chick with a huge beehive who used to smoke pot and doesn’t hate gays. Governor Sarah Palin has the Sexy Librarian look that we’ve all come to appreciate, and she’s certainly a ‘fresh face’ in national politics.

But I’m sorry, a great ‘hive alone isn’t enough to get by on. Just ask Amy.   Sarah Palin is the anti-Amy, and not in a good way. In high school, she was head of her school’s Christian Fellowship of Athletes. She’s a “pro-life” activist who is skeptical about global warming and wants to prevent polar bears from being protected as an endangered species.

She is also a strong proponent for oil drilling in the Alaska National Wildlife Refuge, which even McCain has opposed. She is under investigation for abuse of power in the firing of her ex-brother-in-law, a state trooper. She fired the Public Safety Commissioner who balked at firing the ex-brother-in-law, and replaced him with an official who had already been reprimanded for sexual harassment.

Sarah Palin is clearly an ambitious and capable woman, but I’d like to see her stay in Alaska and ruin things there, rather than help John McCain ruin what’s left of the whole world.

Earlier this year, She was brave and noble enough to bring a child with Down Syndrome into the world, but here are my problems with that:

1. She named him Trig. (Her other kids are named Bristol, Willow, Piper and Track)
2. She returned to her office 3 days after Trig’s birth.

Are any of you good with this? I’m saying Yes on Trig, but No on His Mom.