Have you ever marveled at the unmitigated grotesque awfulness that is Ed Hardy? This brand and its ugly stepsister, Christian Audigier, are not only repulsive to the eye, but really expensive, too.

I showed the t-shirt above to my teenager, who was speechless for a moment. I think he may have been scared, and with good reason.

This is a brand to fear more than root canal. This shit is everything a normal person wants to avoid projecting to the world: It says “I’m not only stupid, but blind. Just kill me!”

Or maybe it’s saying: “Hey man, I totally rock!” Same thing, really.

What I have learned from reading fashion blogs is that styling is everything. Just take the Ed Hardy t-shirt above, as it’s presented by the super-elegant fashion mecca now known as Electric Couture. It used to be called Electric Ladyland, but Jimi Hendrix probably returned from the dead to get them to change it.

Anyway, who else but the geniuses at Electric Couture would think to style it with a huge fake Chanel necklace and two tons of garish chain belts and Kenneth Jay Lane bangles, plus weird cargo-like bell bottoms?

Here is another look, featuring a Christian Audigier mini-dress and some fabulous, realistic pearls, with enough fake Chanel to make you forget about the shoes. Not!

Ed Hardy is only good for identifying its wearer as an imbecile. If there were any doubt, the Ed Hardy would seal the deal.