Have you been noticing all the l——s that combine leather and jersey? Every label has its own version, even Helmut Lang and DVF.

What do these garments say to you? To me, they are saying “I can’t afford leather so I bought these instead.” Why else would you buy them, right? That’s why they make me sad. They remind me that I can’t afford a pair of leather l——s, even though they are a key item for fall/winter.   Like any spoiled brat, I’d rather have nothing if I can’t have what I want.

To cheer my self up, I’m enjoying the sight of these “custom-distressed splattered jeans.”

“Alice + Olivia custom distresses each pair of these worn and torn jeans to look like you’ve had them forever.”

Hahaha! Would any of us see someone walk by wearing these jeans and think, “Wow, she’s had those forever?” I think it would be more like “Oh god, ugh, what next, jeans stained with axle grease and vomit“?