I’m of the firm belief that your book is well worth finishing. Max would agree. Your writing is always from the heart, even when it’s about trivial shit like ugly denim, haha, that is why we love to read you. Please try your best to finish it.

…and can we please have some more ugly denim posts. My disgust is feeling neglected.

xxx

FFS…I’m on a time limit and I have to do maths.

I don’t know how old your writer friend is, but to continually become involved with bdp women is pathological. Once is lesson enough for the average person.

Narcissists and BDPs are magnetically attracted to each other like an industrial strength magnet the size of Jupiter. Though your friend does not seem to, exhibit narcissistic traits, was not supportive as a mentor and was selfish and a unkind. He didn’t set out to seduce you and then destroy you like a regular narcissist would. It’s confusing. And that is exactly what makes these relationships so compelling. Their behaviour is so outside the realm of what is reasonable and what we would do, that our minds and emotions go crazy trying to solve the puzzle. “Was it something I said’ ‘why did I say that??” “I shouldn’t have done, this, I shouldn’t have done that.’ ‘I spooked him with my neediness’ etc etc

It is highly likely that he is a narcissist and so far, you are one of his sources of supply that he keeps on the back burner ready in the wings until you are needed in the future, which is why he has not displayed his narcissistic rage or any other traits that would give him away.

However there is one MAJOR red flag. It is so text book.

An average, not disordered person would not have left you in radio silence. A non disordered person would have perceived your distress and written a quick two second email telling you that he is ok but just needs space right now. He was receiving all of your emails and messages. FOR SURE. He read every single one of them. Probably with a smirk on his face. He sensed your distress and did not send one reply. No matter how caught up someone is in a love affair or drama or work or what ever the fuck. If you sense you are causing someone distress, and not just anyone, a friend that you have shared intimate conversations with. You write something. Anything back to provide them relief. Especially. MOST especially if you know the writer to be a sensitive, grief stricken person who has come to rely on your friendship as a beacon of hope, however glimmering.

He is a narcissist and he is testing you to see how much pain and confusion you will tolerate and whether you will come back for more. He will lure you in again and then do something else to test you. he will turn it up a notch.

Be thankful that he is out of your life. He is a famous writer so his opportunities for sources of supply are many and varied. But please be on guard if he contacts you again.

Please be very careful. I urge you to speak to a therapist that specialises in the victims of narcissistic disordered people. Narcissists are like robots in their approach to a new source of supply, the devouring and the discarding. A therapist of this kind will give you a lot of insight into his behaviours. This woman’s articles on bdp and narcissism are excellent http://gettinbetter.com/articles.html

The intoxicating highs of a love affair (even a platonic one) with a narcissist are impossible to replicate with a normal person, there is nothing like the closeness, the understanding the heightened sense of mission and wonder. my god, the everything of it, the fusion, the depth, the deep water feeling. But the resulting destruction and and total annihilation of your life are something that is difficult to get over. Be very careful about allowing him into your life again.

You have lots of good stuff already done that will bulk up an early draft – it’s all here in this blog.

ps: tha is a fine picture of WSB

Miranda – Knowing that I helped you is a huge comfort.

Dj – He isn’t a villain in any way actually. He reached out to me for his own reasons and wanted to be supportive. It just didn’t last. But it was me giving him all that power, that’s the bad part.

kate – xoxo

Bevitron – I’m sure I’ve said this before but you are the fucking wings etc.!!!

Stavroula – Thank you so much! He isn’t a loser though – just a person struggling with his own shit. But thank you for your encouragement.

Jody Lynn – Thank you and yes, my son.

I would love to read Max’s story please do it.