As for your fate during the Rapture, well, you’ve got it sorta right, but not really. Here’s what fate has in store for my lovely Jewess.

Sung to the tune of “My Precious Jewel” by Hank Williams:

My Precious Jew

O my precious Jew
You bring on the End Times
We’ll fight for your country
From A-rabs to save

And when we are through
We’ll meet you in Heaven
Where you will take Christ
In your hearts so depraved

So you see, there’s always hope, even for you, my sweet!

Patrick – As a jew, I will be going straight to hell during the Rapture. We’ll hook up there, okay?

David – Even Margaret Thatcher didn’t send your armed forced into the Falklands and call it “God’s war”. You are welcome to cheer on the Republicans, but as a member of the world community, you too will be screwed if they win.

Just not too far north. Those people in Alaska…man are they f*cked up or what?

Oh, the humanity.

I work hard at my denial.

not not ALL christians think like this, and so of course it does not follow that christians should not have the right to vote and nobody suggested that anyway you stupid man.

and sorry to burst your bubble but you’re not the first person to say they will win– weren’t you watching the republican convention? pay attention now.

I confess (if that is not too much of a religious expression) that I am not sure of the precise details of how representative government works in America, but over here a Member of Parliament is supposed, irrespective of *his* politics, to represent *all* of his constituents irrespective of *their* politics. I was not aware that being a practicing Christian in America meant that elected officials were not permitted to visit you or your church, to address you and listen to your opinions. If that is the case, there does not seem much point in giving Christians a vote at all. In fact, given that they appear to strike fear and alarm in certain quarters not too far removed from this blog, why not just stick them all in a Gulag – and now I come to think of it, Alaska being next door to Siberia, that would be a good place to site one.

Incidentally, skimming through the linked thread on the ‘banned library books’ it appears to be about as reliable as the story of Mrs. Palin’s youngest child being produced by her eldest daughter.

My reliability as a political forecaster is about equal to my weather forecasting ability – and I have just returned home soaking wet after getting caught in a rain storm – but over at my place I have just proclaimed a McCain win in November, mostly on account of his brilliant choice of VP candidate.

Remember, you read it first here!

I can speak in tongues, and it’s a blast! I mean it. I’m quite serious. I think people who can’t speak in tongues are pretty repressed. Learning to let go and blast out some Pseudo Ancient Sumero-Atlantean mega-chant-roar-gabble-urk to the Great Old Lizard Gods of the Utter Depths of Far-out Hyper Space is good clean fun.

Well, it costs you your soul actually, but I’ve never had one in the first place, so that’s a minor issue.

Which raises the point…these religious wackos are actually enjoying themselves. They’s havin’ theyself a partaaaaay!!!

I’d love to take you to one, my lustee, my wild wicked Wolf. We could shake and foam and twitch together, speak in tongues, tongue in tongues, lash and lick and love in tongues.

Mmm…I feelin’ the Rapture just a’risin’ in my bones as I write these very words.

Wanna join me for the apocalypse my darlin’? The weather forecast is hot hot hot!!!

Sing it Sister! In a language of your choice! Just remember to ask me along.

Your polyglotted stalker,
Patrick