Comments on: The Stuff We Leave

By: OMGGMAB

OMGGMAB — Tue, 04 Jan 2011 03:43:06 +0000

I have spent many hours gathering knowledge about my ancestors. The sense of intimacy that I feel is overwhelming when I come across a letter, a newspaper article, or an item of clothing that helps me to understand, to “know” that person who has long left earthly presence. 100 years from now, one of your descendants will happen across your lovely writing and be gratified that she can learn about your beautiful Max. In this way, as with the Pharos, Max is memorialized, and the the tangible objects that he held dear are adjectives to his person.

By: lisa ann

lisa ann — Mon, 03 Jan 2011 23:14:50 +0000

I think about this often, and I like to think that I’d leave behind quite an accurate portrait of who I was — both in my belongings and through the lives I’ve touched.

I love your blog (I found you through my friend Grace @ wool&misc).

Reading back and discovering what had happened to your son…there were so many entries that I wanted to comment on but just didn’t feel that my condolences were enough. I’m so sorry for your loss.

By: Jacqui

Jacqui — Sat, 01 Jan 2011 23:13:29 +0000

Beautiful and hauntingly written. I can’t really say anymore. Thank you.

By: auntkitten

auntkitten — Sat, 01 Jan 2011 19:02:26 +0000

I’m so drawn to that haunting image illustrating this post.

I follow the words of William Morris “have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.”

By: Marky

Marky — Fri, 31 Dec 2010 16:14:37 +0000

Beautiful post.

By: ellio100

ellio100 — Fri, 31 Dec 2010 13:02:06 +0000

I don’t know what i can add that hasn’t been put better already.

Sometimes I work at a museum, and the objects there which are careworn and damaged and used are the ones which are the most powerful. The pristine stuff is impressive, but there is something undeniable about battered books and ratty clothes.

I think this post and some of its comments is wonderful because they show how things are important. For my course I was reading some wacky theory before Christmas, about thing-power, (google Jane Bennett if you’re curious), but this all explains it better.

With hope for a happy new year.

By: Sister Wolf

Sister Wolf — Fri, 31 Dec 2010 12:44:08 +0000

Taylor – I wish they had chosen to leave his FB page frozen exactly as he left it. My son also felt ambivalent about FB. But he hated those memorial pages for friends who had died.

Mayan – Your dad had great style, it sounds like. I would treasure those things too. xo

prettypistol – Thank you for your kindness, it made me cry, because I don’t feel successful. The love part is so easy, It’s just everything else that’s so hard. But you’re right: err on the side of unconditional love and support. Blessings to you and your little boy. xoxoxoxoxo

By: prettypistol

prettypistol — Fri, 31 Dec 2010 03:37:59 +0000

My son Rainier is almost 3, I still feel like a “new mother”, even though I know I should be figuring this out by now. I have been following you since he was born, mostly for the fashion/comical insight. It has been hard to read what you have been going through with Max. This post, more than any other, has made me sit back and think. Screw what all the parenting mags and other peoples “helpful” advice has to offer. I know that if I can love my son as much as you do Max I will have succeeded. Thank you.

By: Make Do Style

Make Do Style — Thu, 30 Dec 2010 22:43:10 +0000

I feel I should go and get my shit in order now! I love my books, clothes, jewellery and photos. I did love a lot of other things like my camera and record collection but they all got stolen plus one boyfriend cut up a whole load of my clothes once. I keep meaning to sort them all out so no one else has too.

I love that Max had no jeans how amazing and such lovely textured clothes. I think having stuff is part of us, our journey. My only worry is I attach more importance to my belongings than I should.

PS the petit had his first guitar for christmas he loves it.

By: Taylor

Taylor — Thu, 30 Dec 2010 22:33:05 +0000

I don’t know what to say to this at all except that it made me tear up a lot; my first boyfriend died in August. Because I live across the country, I found out over instant messenger from a friend but the worst part was the Facebook shit. His Facebook is still up, and someone from his family updates it and adds people. They even changed his relationship status to “single.” It was difficult to see his profile continuing to change after he was gone. He was one of those people who had a love/hate relationship with social networking sites and I just wonder sometimes how he would feel about it.

I can’t imagine what it is like going through someone’s things, and I try not to think about what people would maybe say about my clothing hoarding. But I think we all have our vices, that’s what makes us distinct. And I agree with Esme that no one should have to make apologies for what they leave behind.