Comments on: The Tavi Problem

By: Christine

Christine — Mon, 20 Oct 2014 23:49:28 +0000

As the mother of 2X teen girls with Aspergers. I asked this question myself when I saw Tavis speech.
I dont know why people are taking offense to this at all?.

Max… AS isnt mental illness. It is a “disorder” and just like my child who is A LOT like Tavi says “its an ABILITY” not a “disability”

By: Max

Max — Sat, 15 Dec 2012 21:19:28 +0000

Am I the only one to actually think trying to diagnose people when you’re not qualified for it and forcing labels on people (some who don’t identify as aspies) can increase the stigma and in fact comes from the stigma and stereotypes? It’s not like just /suggesting/ to the person so they might learn a bit about AS. People aren’t saying mental illness is bad, but misdiagnosing it is, or forcing the person to identify with the diagnosis whether or not it is made by a professional. Or worse, talk aside from the person and tell to people that they are increasing the stigma by saying that it is bad to do such thing. I identify with my having AS but people have forced me to identify with a misdiagnosis (professionals and family+teachers) or with an idea they just had (teachers), or kept identifying me as such, and it did a lot of bad to me, because it wasn’t me or who I am. It did as much bad to me as the stigma linked to AS and depression, it’s just as much ableist and sanist, except it is exceptionalist or like you were a fun plushie or “they want to help you” so you have no say in who your are (see how it comes from stigma? you have no say in your identity because of your identity as mentally ill. you are mentally ill so you can’t know how you are mentally ill, and if you want to say anything you are increasing the stigma even if you are in danger. how condescending.)
For a lot of these things, they never talked directly to me about it and I only deduced after a long time. For others I tried to explain but they wouldn’t listen.
Now obviously for Tavi, she don’t know you, but imagine if you were her family or teachers, the bad it could have done if she don’t actually have AS.
Whoever you are you don’t know better than the person who /they/ are!
And it’s really insulting to title that “The Tavi Problem” and then talk about stigma… because it’s not a problem not knowing if she is on the spectrum or not. And she is not “someone’s little darling”, children are their own persons.

By: Sister Wolf

Sister Wolf — Wed, 12 Sep 2012 06:59:12 +0000

Lexi – I disagree. Seriously. I can recommend a talk by Tim Page, a Pulizer prize winning music critic, who has Asperger’s : http://youtu.be/C05q2wrUdu8

By: Lexi

Lexi — Wed, 12 Sep 2012 03:51:12 +0000

This is an old article, sorry for commenting so late, but this post absolutely angers me. Aspergers and autism is becoming a joke, a label for intelligent kids, introverts and people who don’t conform. Autism is a very serious disorder, and instead is seen as a joy or an adorable quirk. This is not to say that autistic kids aren’t a joy to be around. They certainly are. I’ve always had a passion for the mentally ill and the learning disabled, and I love autistic children. However I am starting to notice that autism is becoming a fad that’s labeled towards children who are a bit more intelligent or introverted than average, even if they really don’t have that much difficulty adjusting. People with aspergers and autism have difficulty adjusting to society. It’s not an adorable quirk. It’s a disorder.

I feel that you slapping the label on Tavi is ridiculous. Tavi is an intelligent girl. She obviously is not like most people her age. She was a feminist at just 14 and seems to have a refreshing but uncanny insight that is rare for her age. She has a very good eye for detail and she’s very quick witted and clever. Yes, she’s different from most people her age. That does not signify autism at all. I also agree with another commenter that she does not seem to be the fashion savant that others hype her as. She just seems to be an intellectual, someone who does a lot of research and has a passion. What’s wrong with that? Nothing.

Autism obsessions are nothing like normal obsessions, but I have noticed that people can’t seem to distinguish the differences between the two. Having a passion you devote a lot of your time to and know a lot about is not always an earmark of aspergers syndrome. I, for example, am in love with animation. It’s the the point where I actually watch cartoons more than live action, know a lot about current cartoons and their characters and certain voice actors and so on. However, it’s not to the point where I lose all sight of other things. It’s not to the point where it’s all I talk about and seem to not be able to tell when people aren’t interested in me. I don’t drive people away because of an interest I bring up during inappropriate times. It’s not autism. It’s an interest I have. Lots of people have interests they know a lot about and can tell you a lot about, but it doesn’t make every single one of them autistic. If your interest actually interferes with your life, it’s autism. If it doesn’t, it’s not.

That’s the thing with Tavi. None of us actually know her. All we know is she loves fashion, has a blog, and devotes her time to it. Does it actually get in the way of her trying new things? Is it to the point where it’s all she talks about, even if other people are bored of listening to her? Does she lose sight of all other things? Does she have tantrums or get upset if she cannot pursue her interests? None of us know that. All we know is she likes fashion. There’s not enough details to tell if she is just smart and passionate or if she’s bordering the autism spectrum.

You might not like my opinions on aspergers syndrome because I’m not looking at it in a positive light. It has it’s strengths, but it also has many weakness. You’re only focusing on the positives in a way that almost all children could apply to the autism label. The problem is with posts like this is that you are creating a stigma. You’re creating a stigma that autism is not that serious. It’s something that intelligent, creative children have, and as true as that may be, you are glossing over the issues of autism. Posts like this make people take autism way less seriously because they see it as something highly successful, intelligent people who adjust well in life have and then think “aspergers isn’t real. It’s just a label for intelligent people who don’t fit in”. While aspergers kids are very intelligent, they have a lot of problems and setbacks and struggles. If they didn’t, then aspergers syndrome wouldn’t be a disorder that requires treatment. Sadly way too many people are seeing aspergers as not an issue (I see many people say it’s not a bad thing and that it’s not a big deal, ect. ect.) but a fun label like introvert. It’s disgusting because there are kids with temper tantrums, sensory issues severe obsessive symptoms that get them stuck in a rut, and an inability to function and make friends, and yet they’re getting swept under the rug because people are over diagnosing kids who are just a bit “different” with autism. It’s annoying.

This is not to say that Tavi doesn’t have aspergers. Who knows. Maybe she does. However, you have no information on Tavi. You don’t know how high strung and rigid her obsession with fashion is. You don’t know what her social skills are like. The thing is however is that Tavi is a smart kid who seems to be doing well. I don’t know why you titled this “The Tavi Problem”. Tavi isn’t controversial, she doesn’t seem to be struggling or having any issues or problems. If she is, that is for her parents to deal with, not for you to freak out over. Really, she just seems like an intelligent, creative kid. Aspergers or not, she doesn’t seem to be struggling, so I don’t know why you’re considered. Aspergers doesn’t need to be brought up. Stop labeling every minor quirk and let people be people. Seriously.

By: Sister Wolf

Sister Wolf — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 05:51:06 +0000

Ash – I’m a blogger exercising my freedom of expression. Who the fuck do you think YOU are?

By: Ash

Ash — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 05:39:08 +0000

Who the fuck do you think you are?

By: firefly

firefly — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 00:18:18 +0000

Now this is late, but I think she knows the novelty of fashion. She stated before that she hasn’t made up her mind about what she wants to be as an adult, and she seems very smart and capable.

By: alemonhead

alemonhead — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 01:41:15 +0000

hmmmm…how about Tavi is a total frued created by her parents? or some other authority figure in her life? anyone think of that?

By: Aja

Aja — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 04:23:13 +0000

Eh, it doesn’t matter Dru. Just something I found interesting.

By: Dru

Dru — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 12:33:47 +0000

^Aja: what exactly are you referring to? And which other bloggers are glomming Tavi (I have a feeling I don’t understand what glomming is, glomping on the other hand…..)
Not sure why people are so fussed though, but one of the great things about the Internet is that a smart, creative young person was able to use it to get herself to a place where, ten years ago, it’d have taken a parent’s famous last name to get her in. And it’s not just Tavi, even Susie, Queen Michelle, Rumi et al, they’ve done it despite the lack of initial connections (though they have major ones now), and they seem largely unaffected by the hype.