Comments on: The Unbearable Softness of Being

By: M.R.B.

M.R.B. — Tue, 25 Jun 2013 01:40:24 +0000

Wow, I totally felt every word you wrote here. I find myself facing the same stupid issue, mostly just in social situations. I’ve always had horrible self-esteem and self-identity issues, and started dying my hair black in my early twenties. It’s something that I immediately felt ME in– black hair. No fashion statement intended… it just feels ME.
People make dumb comments. “The goth girl”. “The morbid girl”. “Debbie Downer”. “The depressed, suicidal one.” Noooo. These are not me. I get so IRRITATED with these comments, but I tell myself that humans have limited perspectives and they just don’t “get” me and that’s fine… but then it bottles up and some poor asshole calls me a goth and I unleash the fury of hell on him. And embarrass myself, make a totally awkward scene, and retreat, having NOT made my point at all.
Anyway, thanks for this post.

By: drollgirl

drollgirl — Fri, 08 Feb 2013 23:53:05 +0000

i have many thoughts, none of which would be much appreciated!

By: tartandtreacly

tartandtreacly — Mon, 04 Feb 2013 19:09:43 +0000

“As long as you’re not a banana, over cooked pasta, or a penis in a bad situation, there is nothing wrong with soft. ”

There’s something about this poster’s turn of phrase that just sticks with you.

By: pam ela

pam ela — Mon, 04 Feb 2013 10:55:38 +0000

you’re right.

after reading your shrink’s comments, i think that your shrink needs to get a life and stop thinking that his opinions about your hair color matter.

i totally agree with hair trumping all over woes.

By: Iheartfashion

Iheartfashion — Tue, 15 Jan 2013 00:50:44 +0000

Sister, you look beautiful and timeless and always fuckable.

By: Jean Paul

Jean Paul — Mon, 14 Jan 2013 19:57:33 +0000

Let’s not all jump on the shrink! While he’s no arbiter of fashion, a outer change can certainly be a manifestation of an inner change. It’s a shrink’s job to inquire about it.
There are things that when soft are very desirable – a pillow , a breast,
The texture of hair, an expression.
As long as you’re not a banana, over cooked pasta, or a penis in a bad situation, there is nothing wrong with soft. Hardness can always be achieved even with lighter hair. Just don’t buy lipstick with too much orange in it or start wearing pastels. You had courage to change the hair and that is totally hot, edgy and sexy and you are ridiculously beautiful.

By: kt

kt — Sun, 13 Jan 2013 03:53:14 +0000

Attractiveness is pretty subjective. I mean, we can all recognize what conventional beauty looks like, but when it comes down to being attracted to someone, there are so many different variables. I know I’m not going to attract a guy who is into blondes and double D’s. And I probably wouldn’t be very attracted to him either. I have discovered that for the most part, the guys I’ve dated have embodied similar styles and looks as myself. For your shrink to make that kind of commentary about your looks is rather unreasonable and inappropriate. Personally, I love your look, pre and post hair dye jobs. The consistency of your red lipstick will always denote your feistiness 🙂

By: Candy

Candy — Sun, 13 Jan 2013 02:04:35 +0000

You are attractive! That’s the thing. I am like you I don’t like change much, but with the years, I realized change is good. I had the same issues with my hair. Mom used to tell me not to cut my hair. You know what Sis? I promise you change is good, you know why? When I think about the past, I always had bad hair days, I had the same length as you do. Today, it is still long but the texture changed and I can manage it. You are attractive Sis, and even if you don’t want to look soft you are still strong. Go woman, we love you.

By: kate

kate — Sun, 13 Jan 2013 01:53:11 +0000

Get a new shrink. I don’t like this guy. Your black hair was awesome.

By: Suspended

Suspended — Fri, 11 Jan 2013 23:47:57 +0000

Haha. Sister, indeed we are, but I thought it was more of a spiritual recharge than a sex sabbatical.

Maybe they’re the same thing…What do I know? I’m just happy I’m on the “to-do” fuck list…haha!