Comments on: Virus Shmirus, Just Die Already

By: David Duff

David Duff — Mon, 16 Mar 2020 21:55:08 +0000

‘Suspended’ (above) should be lowered to the ground immediately for writing the very best commonsense on the topic I have read anywhere!

By: Romeo

Romeo — Mon, 16 Mar 2020 15:46:34 +0000

Will we ever see or hear from Lev Parnas again? I mean, I’m kind of into the whole Biblical plague thing but I still want some answers and it would be a shame if something bad happened to him (or anybody else capable of providing testimony) over the course of this unbelievably surreal year that’s only in the middle of its third month.

Also: call your elected representatives and demand Thunder Dome. Seems like the best way to assure the moxie of those who seek to join the elite ranks of Space Force is by brutal gladiatorial combat to the death.

By: JK

JK — Sat, 14 Mar 2020 08:27:32 +0000

Been doing some reading Sister Wolf and just found out what all the fuss about the run on TP is all about.

Apparently, when there’s a line of panicked folks and somebody coughs everybody else shits themselves. Can’t swear to the veracity of that research myself as here in Arkansas we’re accustomed to using leaves.

Not last year’s fallen mind. Jonquils are presenting theyselves this time of year and … what?!!! you don’t know what a jonquil is?

Whoa Sister Wolf makes sense now. The species is narcissus which even I didn’t know until now:

https://festivalnet.com/12137/Washington-Arkansas/Festivals/Jonquil-Festival

But damn wouldn’t you know it if I was to go with saksfifthavenue.com I could, according to Google Results get myself 20% more shit off. (Doesn’t mention in the ad though whether my arsehole is gonna be more particularly pleasant than just using a easier got mullein leaf what? you don’t know mullein either? Well gosh darn y’all is livin’ too close to the coast:

https://www.ediblewildfood.com/mullein.aspx

(Just don’t y’all tell any of your’n we got ‘natchurl velvety tp’ cause I’m a’hearin’ y’all are fightin’ in the aisles of your local Trader Joe’s an’ sometimes those’re ending up like a Tijuana DNA Test-Kit challenged Eskimo who ain’t figured out where or how he got there in the first place.)

By: Suspended

Suspended — Fri, 13 Mar 2020 23:39:11 +0000

People are obsessed. I’m sick of listening to it. The likelihood of me dying of boredom is much greater.

Grown people getting arrested for fighting over toilet paper…much more of a concern. What is wrong with people?

Why can’t they invent a virus that only infects the stupid? Something worthwhile.

By: Susie

Susie — Thu, 12 Mar 2020 17:51:19 +0000

Shit….I live in the Petrochemical purgatory that is called Houston, TX…I would rather die from all of the benzine, polymers, sulfur dixiodes, and God know what else that has invaded my 60 plus years body than my stepdaughter plotting my murder for hire because she did not get the house…

By: David Duff

David Duff — Thu, 12 Mar 2020 14:49:48 +0000

Steady on, JK, “autoerotic asphyxiation” doesn’t sound all bad to me! Of course, being a crusty old Brit, I’m not too sure exactly what it is! I assume it is something along the lines of giving a ‘blow job’ to the exhaust pipe of your good ol’ Chevrolet. Doesn’t do a lot for me but, hey, each to his own!

By: Bevitron

Bevitron — Wed, 11 Mar 2020 14:31:36 +0000

Lotsa medical folk in the family, and they say it’s not just the old and sick, it’s the plain old straight-up old, too, who are fucked.

What I wanna know is, where’s the coronavirus jewelry? Dangly sparkly spiky-ball earrings? Chokers (cough-cough)? Lockets?

By: JK

JK — Tue, 10 Mar 2020 16:03:39 +0000

Just my opinion but I’m thinking this latest ‘civilizational ender’ deserves a catchier name. Remember that Carradine feller chop sueying his way across the old timey American West?

Kung Flu.

Yeah Sister Wolf I don’t want to get et by no polar bear either, same goes for that there autoerotic asphyxiation. You mention too a few ways I guess is unique to California people worrys over but adding to your vocabulary here in Arkansas we’uns has got our own unique ways, usually preceded by the soon to be a goner hillbilly with the utterance, “Hold my beer.”

Whenever you hear that stand well away. Maybe aim your smartphone.

But if it’s more’n the usual spectacular it may pay to wash your hands after that too.

By: Wanda

Wanda — Tue, 10 Mar 2020 04:44:53 +0000

My father is in a nursing home, although I’m not sure he knows that. But if he did know that, he would love to get Corona Virus (if he knew what that was) so the nightmare that is old old age would be over for him.

By: Kellie

Kellie — Tue, 10 Mar 2020 00:48:30 +0000

I need tp and food. I am scared to go shopping, and be trampled to death by insane people.
I dont have hand sanitizer.
Or bottles of water. Will the taps stop working?
Will there be gas for the cars? Will anyone care enough about their jobs to go to work?
Who delivers the pizzas?
I am also the living “ambivalent”. Either way. Live. Die.
Just dont let me starve.