Comments on: When Can We Talk About Depression?

By: Thinking

Thinking — Fri, 29 Mar 2013 22:23:24 +0000

What a sensitive consideration. I felt the same way about Aaron – a young man at the same age as my own son. I cross paths with many people – why not him, or any other person who experiencing such profound despair.

As we watch meltdowns of so many young people I have to ask myself about the predatory culture we have created that fosters the many types of self-destruction young people are capable of.

By: Suspended

Suspended — Sun, 03 Mar 2013 12:40:24 +0000

I’m certain I would have loved him, Sister Wolf. If he was anything like you, it’s the easiest of assumptions. xoxo

By: maybe

maybe — Sat, 02 Feb 2013 04:05:38 +0000

@Bonnie I respectfully disagree. Yes there are cumulative factors but why can’t one monumental event (or person) and its consequences be the thing that drives someone to suicide? Every case is different as is every person. Most people are not insightful, sensitive…or suicidal enough to understand suicide. My best friend told me if she ever lost a certain amount of limbs she would kill herself. She has a plan. There is nothing I can say or do. She says ‘no I will take myself out so please leave it that’. I believe every person has the right to take their own life and that should be respected. We don’t have a choice in being born and death can come at anytime but we can take ourselves out if we choose. That is all power we have in our tiny lives and it is a sacred decision. You as an outsider are not the one that has to live with the consequences of their current situation so please don’t be selfish and just let them go!! Keeping them alive with fluffy talking is not going to solve the root of that person’s problems. If we are talking suicide in situations of jail, terminal/debilitating medical issues, rape pregnancy, etc…I mean extreme situations, it’s not about getting through the day and having your boss care. We are talking quality of life is worse than hell type stuff. A guarantee of NOT going to jail would have saved Aaron’s life. Suicide over jail is not a tragedy it is a right, jesus have you ever been in a male prison. I didn’t think so. Living in prison with people talking at him through a glass window about how THEY need him around is not enough to keep a sensitive, brilliant, depressed 26yo alive to live through ass rape resulting in anal cancer and daily violence in prison for 30yrs. They should have taken prison off the table end of story and stopped scaring him. Maybe he would have never been sentenced to jail and they were just manipulating him and that is the really messed up part. …This rant is coming from a person with suicidal tendencies…and a brother in jail.

By: conceptuelle

conceptuelle — Thu, 24 Jan 2013 07:03:49 +0000

YES. I thought I wasn’t going to make it through last winter. I’ve made a huge turnaround, but it was close.

Nobody wanted to hear about my honest thoughts on suicide and how depressed I was. Like I would implicate them or make them responsible or it just isn’t something we talk about in public, keep it to yourself. Like I should just “try” to be happy. Like I wasn’t trying, or if I was it wasn’t hard enough.

I can confirm that there is a stigma against depression in male-centric tech culture. I live in the Bay Area and an acquaintance is the creator of a major torrent software, well known and connected here. He told me that so many of his friends have taken their own lives, all successful smart dudes. Dudes in tech are usually withdrawn, proud, and perfectionists, a deadly combo. Society as a whole needs to get over its fear of talking about suicide. Openness would save lives.

By: Jenny

Jenny — Sun, 20 Jan 2013 23:01:04 +0000

Such a great post xx

By: Andrew N.

Andrew N. — Sun, 20 Jan 2013 21:29:57 +0000

Great post and responses–such needed perspectives.

By: Cricket9

Cricket9 — Sun, 20 Jan 2013 16:56:17 +0000

I was very lucky in many ways – I had a good doctor, medication worked, my then-employer was supportive and allowed me time to see a psychiatrist during work, nobody called me crazy (at least not to my face). The worst were well-meaning friends telling me “don’t take pills”, “what do YOU have to be depressed about”, “just snap out of it”, “go out and see people”, and other pearls of wisdom. To this day these sentences make me grind my teeth. You’re right, SW, NOW is the time. Thank you for the links, I’ll repost them everywhere I can.

By: Sister Wolf

Sister Wolf — Sun, 20 Jan 2013 14:26:45 +0000

Ah Suspended, that is my best purpose right now, to make people feel him. You would’ve loved him, I just know. xo

By: Suspended

Suspended — Sun, 20 Jan 2013 12:54:55 +0000

There are times in life when I’ve felt helpless, useless, scared and consumed with worry. It’s the darkest feeling I’ve encountered. I can’t imagine feeling like that regularly and being able to cope. It’s just too terrifying.

Those feelings were all circumstantial, I knew why I was feeling that way. If that little bit of certainty was removed, I’m not sure I could stick around either. To carry the feeling that ones life is pointless is the greatest of burdens. Many of us are barely tough enough for this world.

Sister, I think by sharing your experiences we’ve all come to miss Max. xx

By: Bonnie

Bonnie — Sun, 20 Jan 2013 00:59:19 +0000

It really bothers me when the media blames suicide on a one time event. They will report that Aaron Swartz committed suicide because he was hounded by over zealous prosecutors or Jacintha Saldanha killed herself out of guilt and remorse over a leak to the press. I guess the drama sells advertising space. An open dialogue about depression would be so much more productive.