{"id":10225,"date":"2014-04-25T23:44:57","date_gmt":"2014-04-26T07:44:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=10225"},"modified":"2014-04-25T23:44:57","modified_gmt":"2014-04-26T07:44:57","slug":"advice-from-an-old-bag","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/advice-from-an-old-bag\/","title":{"rendered":"Advice From An Old Bag"},"content":{"rendered":"

These three actresses have all the advantages that come with their privileged positions, but to my mind they are old bags whose faces scare me. I don’t know what I want them to look like. Just not like this.<\/p>\n

And yet as upsetting as they are, I’m sure they are full of had-earned wisdom. I know some shit, too. So if you’re not an old bag yet, here is some good advice that you will thank me for:<\/p>\n

Don’t overpluck your eyebrows. Your mom is right.
\nStay out of the sun.
\nStop trying to control people, because you can’t.
\nConsider red a neutral.
\nChanel handbags are crap, don’t waste your money.
\nLearn how to fake a good smile but only use it for photographs.
\nRemember that people are idiots.
\nHand-wash any clothes you love, no matter what.
\nLearn to say I’m Sorry and keep saying it, even if you’re not.
\nHats look pretentious unless it’s raining.
\nEveryone’s family is crazy, not just yours.
\nNever be ashamed of stuff that’s not your fault.
\n9 or 10 karat gold is no good unless it’s Victorian.
\nHair is everything.<\/p>\n

Okay, I’m pretty sure that’s all I’ve learned but if I think of anything else I’ll let you know.\u00a0 Here are some old bags who make it look tolerable: Tempest Storm,\u00a0 Gloria Pall and Dixie Evans.<\/p>\n

$\"2008$ <\/a><\/p>\n

And here is ‘Beso’ long wear lip color by Stila.\u00a0 You need soap to get it off!<\/p>\n

$\"Beso$ <\/a><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

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