{"id":1057,"date":"2008-08-18T00:01:34","date_gmt":"2008-08-18T08:01:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=1057"},"modified":"2008-08-18T00:01:34","modified_gmt":"2008-08-18T08:01:34","slug":"eyebrow-magic","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/eyebrow-magic\/","title":{"rendered":"Eyebrow Magic"},"content":{"rendered":"

$\"\"$ <\/a><\/p>\n

Here I am, modeling the fussy white shirt after a hard day limping around Nordstorm at The Grove. As you can see, it doesn’t really work. But I have to say that posing on my commode was a stroke of genius on my part. The lighting in my hallway is very flattering, and the commode will horrify that Crazy Muffin Woman if she dares to come poking around. I think it was the commode experience that somehow provoked her into dissing me. Take that, Crazy!<\/p>\n

In other news, I managed to get two sales assistants at the M.A.C. counter into a mini-argument. I praised a beautiful young man on his spectacular eyebrows, and he referred me to a M.A.C. eyebrow pencil<\/a> in “Stud.” \u00a0 But another M.A.C person objected, and insisted that “Strut” would be a better choice for me. \u00a0 It was a tense situation. The Strut woman made up my eyebrows, one in each color. \u00a0 People stopped and stared at me. I stared back at them and said pleasantly “Which eyebrow makes me look less like an old witch?” They were all struck dumb by this question.<\/p>\n

I ended up buying Strut, but of course It was a mistake, like the white shirt. I should have gone with Stud.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Here I am, modeling the fussy white shirt after a hard day limping around Nordstorm at The Grove. As you can see, it doesn’t really work. But I have to say that posing on my commode was a stroke of … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[2],"tags":[335,334,336],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7t44M-h3","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1057"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1057"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1057\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1057"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1057"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1057"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}