{"id":10794,"date":"2015-06-15T22:07:17","date_gmt":"2015-06-16T06:07:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=10794"},"modified":"2015-06-15T22:07:17","modified_gmt":"2015-06-16T06:07:17","slug":"fuck-you-redneck-boot-sandals","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/fuck-you-redneck-boot-sandals\/","title":{"rendered":"Fuck You, Redneck Boot Sandals"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/fucking-stupid-boots.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-10795\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/fucking-stupid-boots.jpg?resize=385%2C498\" alt=\"fucking-stupid-boots\" width=\"385\" height=\"498\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/fucking-stupid-boots.jpg?w=385&amp;ssl=1 385w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/fucking-stupid-boots.jpg?resize=232%2C300&amp;ssl=1 232w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 385px) 100vw, 385px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>I was so touched when three separate people sent me links to these stupid cowboy boot thongs. I thought, &#8220;Aww, how lovely, when people see grotesque shoes, they think of me!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>But when I read the text, I learned that the boots are the work of some smartass self-styled redneck who&#8217;s managed to make a splash on social media with his stupid faux product.<\/p>\n<p>In other words, these boots are not <em>found art<\/em> like shoes that someone actually considered attractive and wearable. Instead, these fucking boot-things are ironic, get it?<\/p>\n<p>We don&#8217;t need ironic ugly things, we&#8217;re already drowning in sincere ugly things! Fake ugly things bring no frisson of joy.<\/p>\n<p>This guy&#8217;s<a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/BillyBobCowboyBootSandal\" target=\"_blank\"> Facebook<\/a> page does not indicate what he intends to do with his new fame or whether we can expect other shoe-jokes in the future. But I can only hold him in contempt for intentionally fucking up a pair of boots, and for thinking he could design anything as innocently hideous as these &#8216;<em>Open-toe Chrystal Boxer Booties&#8217;<\/em> by <a href=\"http:\/\/www.neimanmarcus.com\/Giuseppe-Zanotti-High-Heel-Open-Toe-Crystal-Boxer-Bootie\/prod174260215_cat000220__\/p.prod?icid=&amp;searchType=EndecaDrivenCat&amp;rte=%252Fcategory.service%253FitemId%253Dcat000220%2526pageSize%253D30%2526No%253D60%2526refinements%253D&amp;eItemId=prod174260215&amp;cmCat=product\" target=\"_blank\">Giuseppe Zanotti<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/Giuseppe-zanotti-shoes.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-10797\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/Giuseppe-zanotti-shoes.jpg?resize=296%2C460\" alt=\"Giuseppe zanotti shoes\" width=\"296\" height=\"460\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/Giuseppe-zanotti-shoes.jpg?w=296&amp;ssl=1 296w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/Giuseppe-zanotti-shoes.jpg?resize=193%2C300&amp;ssl=1 193w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 296px) 100vw, 296px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I was so touched when three separate people sent me links to these stupid cowboy boot thongs. I thought, &#8220;Aww, how lovely, when people see grotesque shoes, they think of me!&#8221; But when I read the text, I learned that &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/godammit.com\/fuck-you-redneck-boot-sandals\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[2,7],"tags":[692,698,614],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7t44M-2O6","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10794"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10794"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10794\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10794"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10794"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10794"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}