{"id":11172,"date":"2016-06-15T20:36:49","date_gmt":"2016-06-16T03:36:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=11172"},"modified":"2016-06-15T20:36:49","modified_gmt":"2016-06-16T03:36:49","slug":"shoes-to-the-rescue","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/shoes-to-the-rescue\/","title":{"rendered":"Shoes To The Rescue!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-11173\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/Miu-Miu-ballerina-flats.jpg?resize=456%2C418\" alt=\"shoes to the rescue\" width=\"456\" height=\"418\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/Miu-Miu-ballerina-flats.jpg?w=456&amp;ssl=1 456w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/Miu-Miu-ballerina-flats.jpg?resize=300%2C275&amp;ssl=1 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 456px) 100vw, 456px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/p>\n<p>When life gives you lemons&#8230;.. .ugly shoes!<\/p>\n<p>Ugly shoes got your back.<\/p>\n<p>Thanks, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.neimanmarcus.com\/Miu-Miu-Velvet-Ankle-Wrap-Ballerina-Flat-Nero-First-Look-Fall-Shoes\/prod189720178_cat60300739__\/p.prod?icid=&amp;searchType=EndecaDrivenCat&amp;rte=%252Fcategory.jsp%253FitemId%253Dcat60300739%2526pageSize%253D30%2526No%253D0%2526refinements%253D&amp;eItemId=prod189720178&amp;cmCat=product\"><strong>Miu Miu<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>I don&#8217;t even know what these shoes want, except to offend. Mission accomplished, Velvet Ankle-Wrap Ballerina Flats!<\/p>\n<p>Just tell me, why those fucking buckled straps? Are they there to make sure no one can yank off your $890 shoes and run off with them? Or are they just there to discourage potential suitors?<\/p>\n<p>These shoes are the essence of &#8216;I can&#8217;t even&#8217;.<\/p>\n<p>I hope they bring you a spark of joy, as <a href=\"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/the-joy-of-trying-to-tidy-up\/\"><strong>Marie Kondo<\/strong><\/a> might say before throwing them out.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"border-radius: 2px; text-indent: 20px; width: auto; padding: 0px 4px 0px 0px; text-align: center; font: bold 11px\/20px 'Helvetica Neue',Helvetica,sans-serif; color: #ffffff; background: #bd081c  no-repeat scroll 3px 50% \/ 14px 14px; position: absolute; opacity: 0.85; z-index: 8675309; display: none; cursor: pointer; top: 36px; left: 112px;\">Save<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When life gives you lemons&#8230;.. .ugly shoes! Ugly shoes got your back. Thanks, Miu Miu. I don&#8217;t even know what these shoes want, except to offend. Mission accomplished, Velvet Ankle-Wrap Ballerina Flats! Just tell me, why those fucking buckled straps? &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/godammit.com\/shoes-to-the-rescue\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[2,5],"tags":[644,118],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7t44M-2Uc","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11172"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11172"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11172\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11172"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11172"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11172"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}