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It was a night of big thighs and vigorous twerking, with white “artists” scoring a perfect zero.<\/p>\n
Kanye<\/strong> provided the obligatory dis to Taylor Swift<\/strong> in a short but obnoxious tribute to himself.<\/p>\n Taylor is a bad sport, so in the absence of nominations she was a no-show, which was a relief.<\/p>\n But even without Taylor, it was a painfully tedious and mostly stupid affair. punctuated by FOUR exciting performances by my fiance, Rihanna<\/strong>.<\/p>\n Riri showed off her versatility as a singer and fashion icon, on point throughout\u00a0 She is nothing but good. She is a goddess,\u00a0 she is gangsta, she designs great shoes, and as a bonus, she doesn’t pretend to be a feminist.<\/p>\n On the feminism front, we had Beyonce<\/strong> strutting about in her leotard, whipping her long extensions around and shaking her ass in a medley about a cheating husband and her African American heritage. It was a strong case for women’s equality.<\/p>\n Poor Britney<\/strong> Spears<\/strong> lip-synced her way through a sad showgirl routine, unaccountably joined by a creepy young douche called G-Eazy<\/strong>. D-Sgusting.<\/p>\n Joe Jonas<\/strong> pretended not to be gay in a dopey production number that started off in a diner. Don’t ask me, I have no idea.<\/p>\n In the huge butt department, Nicki Minaj<\/strong> went overboard this year, looking absolutely gigantic. Kim Kardashian<\/strong> wore a see-through dress, revealing that she has now lost too much weight to deliver the customary shock of her massive ass. EAT, KIM, before it’s too late!<\/p>\n Future<\/strong> performed an aggressive rap, grabbing his crotch and surrounded by gyrating thugs. Whatever he was rapping about, it was obscured by bleeps. I guess that’s a good sign if you’re a rapper, right?<\/p>\n What else?<\/p>\n A band called DNCE<\/strong> won the best new artist award and were a noteworthy eyesore. Here, look for yourself:<\/p>\n It’s hard to believe they’re real. I’m just glad they didn’t perform.<\/p>\n Ariana Grande<\/strong> pranced across the stage in a bra, singing loudly but unable to enunciate. Does anyone know the point of her?<\/p>\n Okay, that’s it. Sorry. Let me know if I forgot anything.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Save<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" It was a night of big thighs and vigorous twerking, with white “artists” scoring a perfect zero. Kanye provided the obligatory dis to Taylor Swift in a short but obnoxious tribute to himself. Taylor is a bad sport, so in … Continue reading ![\"dnce\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/dnce.png?resize=420%2C295\")
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