{"id":11369,"date":"2016-09-12T14:06:21","date_gmt":"2016-09-12T21:06:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=11369"},"modified":"2016-09-12T14:06:21","modified_gmt":"2016-09-12T21:06:21","slug":"amal-clooney-challenges-angelina-jolie-to-a-thin-arms-smackdown","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/amal-clooney-challenges-angelina-jolie-to-a-thin-arms-smackdown\/","title":{"rendered":"Amal Clooney Challenges Angelina Jolie To A Thin Arms Smackdown"},"content":{"rendered":"

$\"amal-angie-thin-arm-smackdown\"$ <\/p>\n

Clotheshorse lawyer and handbag hoarder Amal Clooney<\/strong> has issued a challenge to rival Angelina Jolie<\/strong> in the Thin Arms Olympics.<\/p>\n

Wearing a priceless vintage YSL gown at the Berlin premiere of husband George Clooney’s new movie, Amal looked every inch the emaciated diva, craning her birdlike neck to smile at cameras, risking injury from the weight of her diamond earrings.<\/p>\n

Like Angelina Jolie, Amal was once a normal size but grew thinner with increasing fame. Maybe both women are giving their dinners to their husbands, who are both looking a bit puffy.<\/p>\n

In any case, it’s a race to hit zero on the bathroom scales.<\/p>\n

What’s the motivation for Amal and Angie? Why are they trying to disappear?<\/p>\n

Are they unconsciously emulating the Syrian refugees whose plight has so moved them?<\/p>\n

Or are they caught up in a folie a deux<\/em><\/a>?<\/p>\n

$\"angie-vs-amal\"$ <\/p>\n

More important, do you want to see them arm-wrestle?<\/p>\n

Me neither.<\/p>\n

For a thorough accounting of Amal’s fashion purchases, visit Amal Clooney Style<\/strong><\/a>, my go-to source for all things Amal. Keep a calculator handy to truly appreciate the money that goes into being a superstar lawyer, wife, and human clothes hanger.<\/p>\n

Angie’s motivation may be more complicated than Amal’s, since she has no problem sporting a pair of massively disproportionate tits. Perhaps the tits are meant to underscore her ‘Mother of All The World’s Children’ delusion.<\/p>\n

When I was 14 years old and stubbornly clinging to my anorexia,\u00a0 I used to sneak the food off my plate into my pocket. Things could get messy.<\/p>\n

Someone should check Amal and Angie’s pockets for tamales! It’s just a hunch but you never know.<\/p>\n

Save<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"